7 Underrated Ways To Make Your Boring Relationship Feel Exciting Again
Relationships are always so fun in the beginning. Unfortunately, the excitement of new relationship energy doesn't tend to last very long. If you feel like your relationship has suddenly become "boring," don't worry. You and your partner can turn it around. According to experts, there are some pretty underrated ways to make your relationship feel new and exciting again, and you might want to give them a try.
"There’s a number of things that can contribute to boredom in your relationship," Bethany Ricciardi, Sex and Relationship Expert with TooTimid, tells Bustle. For instance, getting too comfortable in a routine or losing your independence in your relationship can lead to boredom.
When you're feeling bored in your relationship, it's easy to overthink it. But it's not something you should stress over. Being bored doesn't mean you love your partner any less than you did in the beginning. It also doesn't mean you're not meant to be or you won't work out long-term. Losing a bit of the excitement means just means you need to put in some work to bring it back. "You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t [get bored]," Ricciardi says.
Fortunately, you can turn it around. So here are some underrated ways to make your relationship feel brand new again, according to experts
1. Schedule Activities To Do Together
When you think of scheduling, you may think of something routine or boring. It can be if you're scheduling the same things over and over again. But in this case, Ricciardi suggests creating a bucket list together and planning out the next couple of weeks. "Focus on doing something new everyday," she says. Spontaneity is great, but scheduling a new activity to do together or penciling in some one-on-one time together in the bedroom, creates anticipation. "You don’t ever want date night to be a maybe," she says. "You should always have it as a priority to keep things fun in your relationship."
2. Go On A Road Trip Together
A road trip can be a simple way to spice things up. "Whether you plan it or take off on the fly, getting in the car and hitting the open road with your partner and a great playlist, is a wonderful way to put some excitement into a stagnant relationship," relationship expert and author April Masini tells Bustle. When you take off on a couples adventure, you're "investing in excitement" for your relationship.
3. Take A Trip Without Your Other Half
Although Dr. Lori Whatley, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, tells Bustle, there's no substitute for couples sharing travel experiences together, absence can make the heart grow fonder. "Taking trips away from our partners helps us to refresh and return feeling happier to see them," she says. "We learn to appreciate them when we are away." Trips without each other give you and your partner the opportunity to maintain your independence in the relationship. If you want your relationship to stay healthy, it's important for both partners to have a life outside of it.
4. Be Flirty
"Throw in a quick butt tap or a long, passionate kiss the next time you’re on your way out the door," Ricciardi says. "Maybe you can surprise your partner with a packed lunch and a flirty note inside for what you want to do to them later when they get home." Finding ways to tease and flirt with your partner throughout the day can bring that fun and playful vibe back into your relationship. If you're a little rusty at flirting, fake it 'til you make it. As long as you're genuine and putting in the effort, your partner is sure to welcome it.
5. Try A New Restaurant Together Every Month
A great underrated way to make your relationship feel exciting again is to do something new together. Doing something new doesn't have to be anything crazy or unusual. "If you usually stay in on a Friday night, go out and check out that new restaurant," Helen Odessky, PsyD, clinical psychologist and author of Stop Anxiety From Stopping You, tells Bustle. "Having new adventures however small, infuses our relationships with excitement." It's OK to keep it simple.
6. Lay In Bed And Just Touch Each Other
You can try all sorts of things in the bedroom to spice things up. But touching doesn't always have to be sexual or go in that direction. "When you make physical contact with affectionate touch, hand-holding and caresses, it creates hormonal energy in both of you that can lead to excitement," psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina, LMFT, PhD, tells Bustle. Touching while talking is a great way to build intimacy and connect with your partner on a deeper level. When you have that deep connection, your relationship can feel a lot more exciting.
7. Asking A Third Party For Help
As licensed marriage and family therapist, Heidi McBain, MA, tells Bustle, boredom often stems from a feeling of being unfulfilled. Some people may be even looking to add more purpose or meaning to their life. If that's the case, these deeper feelings may not easily go away just by taking up a new hobby or trying a new restaurant. It may not be for everyone, but McBain says seeing a counselor can be helpful. You can talk through why you're feeling so stuck and bored, and figure out what you need to add into your life to make it fun, exciting and fulfilling again.
Honestly, you can try anything to make your relationship feel exciting again. Don't limit yourself. At the end of the day, it's all about effort. If you and your partner invest the time and the energy into spicing things up, your relationship can feel just like it did in the beginning.