7 Weird Things That Will Happen When You're Actually With "The One"
Ending up with "The One" is something many of us hope will happen someday. For some, knowing they've finally met their person happens in an instant. For others, it may take a bit of time. But how do you know if the person you're with is actually "The One?" Regardless of how it happens or when, experts say there are a few interesting things that will happen that you should be aware of.
"The feeling of being with 'The One' fluctuates from person to person and couple to couple," Daniela VillaRamos, relationship expert and founder of Once Upon a Vow, tells Bustle. "But the one thing that stays true for all, is that you feel like you can be 100 percent completely yourself."
When you're actually with "The One," you'll feel like your person "gets" you. They understand you, and sees you for who you truly are. "You'll feel safe knowing that they won't judge you or make you feel less than once you reveal the behind-the-scenes weirdo that no one else has truly gotten to know," she says. "It's a freeing experience and a terrifying one, but in the end, it's awesome AF!"
You can never truly know what being with "The One" will feel like until it happens, but it's likely that some unexpected things may occur. Here are the weird and interesting things experts say you may experience when you're with "The One."
1. You'll Initially Think, "No Way!"
Being with "The One" should feel like nothing you've ever experienced before. "When a client says to me, 'This is totally NOT my person,' it's a sign that they might actually be a good candidate for 'The One,'" dating coach Andi Forness, tells Bustle. "Ninety percent of the time, they will turn out to be 'The One' with some time, letting go of fear, and curiosity."
According to Forness, people who've been single for a while or have a pattern of being in bad relationships in the past have a very "intricate defense system" put in place.
When you immediately say someone is not "The One," you're protecting yourself. So if you're still debating whether or not the person you're with is "The One," be more curious about them. Ask a bunch of questions and get to know them on a deeper level. "There are no rules on how it will play out," Forness says. "Just be open and curious and give time for things to play out is my best coaching to anyone!"
2. You Feel Completely At Ease Doing "Gross" Things In Front Of Them
When you're finally with "The One," doing seemingly "gross," yet totally normal, things like farting, burping, or using the bathroom when they're there may feel natural. You won't even mind shaving, tweezing, or waxing in front of them because there's nothing you need to hide.
As VillaRamos says, you know you're with "The One" when you're comfortable enough to do private, ordinary things in front of them without feeling any sort of embarrassment.
3. You'll Start Attracting Good Opportunities
"Finding your one is like finally stepping on the right path in life and having all of the next perfect steps to achieve all that you wanted light up in front of you like a golden walkway," dating coach and “Man Whisperer,” Laurel House, tells Bustle. Although there really isn't an exact science to it, House says meeting "The One" will cause your energy to shift.
"It's like putting on rose-colored glasses and everything feels good and right," she says. When you're with someone who lifts you up and makes you happy, people usually take notice. You'll feel more confident and that energy will radiate from you. "People and opportunities around you suddenly have confidence in you because you are filling them with that feeling about you too," House says. So when you're finally with "The One," don't be surprised to find all these doors open for you. Your positive energy has helped you attract it.
4. You'll Sleep Better At Night
Studies have found that having good, close relationships can help reduce stress. "When you're with the right person, your worries don't disappear, but they can seem lighter," Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert for Maple Holistics, tells Bustle. "Now that you have someone to shoulder the burden with you, someone whom you trust, your sleep patterns might change." You'll sleep better at night knowing that you're finally in a good relationship with a partner who's always going to be there for you.
5. You May Have Dark Thoughts About Loss
On the other hand, you may start to have dark and slightly twisted thoughts about death and loss, when you're with "The One," VillaRamos says. That's because loving someone a lot instills in you a natural fear of losing them.
"Sometimes these dark scenarios can come rushing to the forefront of your mind and you'll worry yourself sick with a plethora of 'What if' questions," she says. If this is happening to you, talk it out with your partner or someone close to you to help ease any anxieties you may have.
6. You Can't Explain It, But You Just Feel Like The Universe Wants You Two Together
When you're with "The One," the universe will support your relationship, relationship expert Alex DiBacco tells Bustle. How will you know? "When it seems like you've almost reached a breaking point, you'll receive some unexpected help that facilitates you staying together," DiBacco says. If you recognize the signs and push through, things will eventually line up, fall into place, and you'll just know it's right.
7. Your "Red Light" Turns On
You'll know that you found the right person for you when you stop looking for more. "Your red light is now on, whereas in past relationships you had your yellow light shining, letting others know that they can maybe proceed," House says. Now, there's really no interest in other people or thinking "What if" about other people because you've finally found "The One." When you're with your partner, you're with them.
"You are no longer an option for others and you no longer look for options," she says. You know you're with "The One" when you don't need a backup plan anymore.
There are so many things that can happen when you finally meet "The One." But if you're in a relationship where you feel truly happy and loved, you may very well be with the right person for you.