You probably constantly hear that communication is key in relationships. For instance, if you think about couples that you know, you can probably differentiate the ones who have great communication based on how they act towards one another. You can also probably tell the happy ones apart from the not-as-happy ones. It’s apparent through their behavior — not just the “I love you”s, but the little things couples say that produce big results.
“Sometimes, it’s not about anything complex, but it just comes down to being heard in a relationship,” Stef Safran, matchmaking and dating expert, tells Bustle. “Talking to them about the little things — as well as the big things — makes the difference between couples staying in love and falling out of love.”
Relationship Specialist Jen Elmquist, MA, LMFT, and author of Relationship Reset: Secrets from a Couples Therapist That Will Revolutionize Your Love for a Lifetime, agrees. “A key to nurturing a happy and healthy relationship resides in each partner’s ability to infuse the relationship with positive and affirmative energy,” she tells Bustle. “A lot of this energy is exchanged through non-verbal communication, but some of the strongest influence we have on our partner is expressed through our words.”
You can probably think of your own relationship, or relationships you have been in, and think back to sweet, meaningful things that you and your significant other said to each other. Below, relationship experts share common phrases happy couples say regularly, and you’ll probably recognize and/or be inspired by them.
“Thank You, I Really Appreciate....”
It may go without saying that telling your partner “thank you” goes a long way and is another common phrase that happy couples say to one another. And, TBH, I don’t think you can say “thank you” to one another too much. “The more we appreciate our partner, the more they want to contribute to us and our relationship,” King says.
“How Was Your Day?”
Another common phrase happy couples say regularly is, “How was your day?” “Finding out how someone’s day was shows you care,” Safran says. “A lot of couples complain about communication and that they feel less important than the people they work with. But making time to really listen goes a long way. Do you talk to your significant other? Or do you text or avoid conversation altogether by turning on the TV, your phone, etc.? The couples who make time for each other to find out about each other’s days and make time to unwind together have a better chance of staying connected long-term.”
“How Can I Help Make Your Day Better?”
Aside from asking your partner how their day was, you can also see how you can help them out. “A common phrase (or question, rather) happy couples say regularly is, ‘How can I help make your day better?’” Dr. Suzana Flores, clinical psychologist, and author of Facehooked: How Facebook Affects Our Emotions, Relationships, and Lives, tells Bustle. “This question demonstrates that you are concerned about your partner’s well-being and you are offering to take steps to help improve their mood. This question also reveals your ability to empathize with your partner and shows your nurturing side, both of which are important factors leading to a happy and fulfilling relationship.”
“I Have Your Back”
If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you felt your partner didn’t support you, you can probably relate to how important it is to say “I have your back” regularly. “This phrase confirms that, no matter what, you aren't going to face your struggles and worries alone,” Elmquist says. “You have a teammate that will look out for you and hold you up through thick and thin.”
“They Are So Great!"
When you’re proud of your partner and proud to be with them, you probably find yourself sharing their accomplishments with others. A common phrase healthy couples say to others regularly is, “He/she is so great,” King says. “They brag about their partner to others!”
“You Did A Really Good Job With ‘X’”
In addition to sharing their accomplishments with others, it’s also important to tell your partner how you’re feeling about something they did. Another common phrase happy couples say regularly is, “You did a really good job with ‘X,’” King says. “They give each other acknowledgement, which is important.”
You may wonder how “I’m sorry” is a common phrase happy couples say regularly, but it's such an important one — though it may not always be easy. “When you are wrong, it is important to take ownership for your mistakes and say, ‘I’m sorry,’” Cohen says.
“What Would I Do Without You?”
Sometimes, or all the time, you may find it hard to believe that your partner was once *not* even in your life. How did you live without them?! Another common phrase happy couples say regularly is “What would I be without you?” or something to that effect. “My favorite phrase is, ‘God only knows what I’d be without you,’ borrowed from The Beach Boys,” Elmquist says. “I say (or sing) this to my husband frequently, and it means that he has so intricately changed my life for the better that life without him is unimaginable.”
As you can see, there are definitely several common phrases happy couples say regularly. Of course, you and your significant other may have even more. Point being, it’s important to stay connected — and happy — with your partner, and the above phrases are a great way to do so.