Get this, you do have some power in making yourself seem more attractive to others. It's not a good idea to be fake or unlike your natural self, but there's nothing wrong with a little embellishment. Trying a few ways to make yourself more desirable to others can not only boost your only confidence and quality of life, but it may encourage you to build a tighter social network, take risks, and overall excel in more avenues. Sounds pretty great, right?
As a certified health coach, I work with clients on feeling more self-assured and courageous on a daily basis, as it can help establish a more positive outlook on life and their purpose within it. Having a strong, core group of supportive friends and family can increase happiness and quality of life, and if you're able to make yourself seem desirable to others (and build those long-lasting relationships), you'll reap all those awesome benefits. Sure, you might not need to change yourself to connect with others, and nor should you feel unnatural and afraid to be your true self (that's not a good sign for the relationship down the road), but if you're able to create that instant spark with the help of a few attractive-boosting pointers, so be it. Here are 9 ways you're able to make yourself seem more desirable to others.
1. Get Busy
People are drawn to those who seem busy, active, and desired by others, explains Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, over email with Bustle. Try this: "If someone wants to make plans with you, say you have something else going on and don't automatically say yes. Even if you were simply planning on going home after work to relax in front of the TV, make others think you have plans already," Hershenson says.
2. Don't Respond Via Text Immediately
You don't want it seem as though you're always there to answer any request. "If you get a text, wait a few hours to respond. This makes it seem you have more important things going on in your life then sitting by your phone," says Hershenson. Just wait too long, as that can come off as rude or a sense of apathy (which isn't the case).
3. Play To Your Strengths
Are you great at talking about fashion? Do you have a way of being the life of the party when out? Do you excel at karaoke? Figure out what your strengths are and find a way to make them known when around others. This will draw people in instnatly.
4. Practice Self-Care
It might seem obvious, but it really isn't. Take care of your appearance and you'll seem more desirable automatically. This doesn't mean looking any type of way in particular as much as it means taking time to practice self-care and make sure that your daily needs are taken care of. Shower daily, use skin care or makeup products that make you feel your best, and dress in a way that fits your personality and mood, and you'll be surprised how good you feel — and how that feeling will radiate to others, as well.
5. Stand Up Straight
Having good posture can come off as a "power pose," exuding positivity and confidence, and this will cause others to flock to you, in search of your bad-ass attitude, explains Tina Muir, Community Manager & Elite Runner at RunnersConnect over email with Bustle. No hunching; it'll come off as weak and unapproachable.
6. Be A Good Listener
Science shows that being a good listener can actually make you seem more attractive to others. People respond well when their cues are picked up on and they feel as though their voices and thoughts are being recognized, so giving gestures of acknowledgment can go a long way in showing that you're clued in. This connection can make you seem more desirable to whomever you're listening to.
If someone says something funny, it's totally ok to laugh. In fact, it's a good thing. According to a study by a Canadian university, McMaster University, people are more attracted to others when they can detect a sense of humor, especially when it's in regard to their own jokes. Plus, laughing can boost your own happiness, too.
8. Make Eye Contact
When having a conversation, make sure to give direct eye contact, as it'll make you appear more desirable to others. If you're noticing your partner staring back at you, keeping the gaze, and giving others gestures, such as leaning in or smiling and laughing, it means they're totally digging your vibes.
9. Wear Your Favorite Red Outfit
According to research, wearing the color red can make women seem more attractive, so before heading out to a happy hour, date, or networking event, don a pretty red dress or a shade of red lipstick. This will help draw attention to you, and you'll have the opportunity to shine.
If you're looking to make yourself seem more desirable, these few tricks can get the job done. Of course, be yourself (there's nothing wrong with you, after all), but a little help along the way won't hurt.