Entertainment

Ariana's Birthday RV Gets 'Pump'ed

by Kristie Rohwedder
Robin Marchant/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

And on this week’s edition of Sexy Unique SURvers Tell Scatological Jokes And Make Kristie Laugh Out Loud Like The Immature Cornball She Is, Ariana’s trip to Sonoma County goes down the toilet and everyone sings about it. On Monday's episode of Vanderpump Rules, the cast pooped in their rental RV a bunch. And then, the septic tank in said RV had to be pumped. And then, the Pumpers belted out a tune about turds. This is the golden age of television, ladies and gents, and may we never forget it.

After a long day of eating meat out of cardboard boats, watching professional race car drives hurtle around a track, taking a spin on the ferris wheel, and asking a driver to sign a flatiron, the Toms Schwartz and Sandoval go back to the RV to hit the can. However, when sweet angel Schwartz enters the motorhome’s latrine, he is greeted by the unmistakable smells and sights of a clogged toilet. A can so full, a simple plunger apparently will not do the trick. The Toms require backup.

Sandoval retrieves a contact list from the glove box, grabs his phone, and dials up a septic tank pumping service. Now, I don’t know how often RV septic tanks can usually go without needing to be emptied out, but holy crap that seems like a lot of crap for one weekend. I gotta hand it to this crew: they really don’t let anything get in the way of their BMs.

Before the viewers at home can say "Poo's on first," a septic tank service truck pulls up to the RV. And before the viewers at home can say "Fart's on second," the blackwater septic is all cleared out. And before the viewers at home can say "I Gotta Go's on third," the SURvers sing a lovely poop-themed ditty. As Jax, Schwartz, Sandoval, and Ariana watch the dung sludge leave their rental motorhome, they croon, "You've got to save that poop, save that poop, save that poop for later." In unison. There's some harmonizing going on, too. Truly a special scene.

I have to ask: Is this… is this something the SURvers sing all of the time? Or was this a beautiful improvised moment? Were those harmonies a happy accident? What is "Save That Poop For Later" and where can I hear more of it? I hope this hot track ends up on PUMP Sessions Vol. 2.