Tiffany Haddish pulled out all the stops during Sunday's highly-anticipated Oscars ceremony. From her jaw-dropping red carpet ensemble to her epic onstage banter with Maya Rudolph, the 38-year-old comedy powerhouse was having the night of her life. And it looks like everyone was picking up what Haddish was putting down Sunday night. Perhaps most notably, apparently newly single Brad Pitt told Tiffany Haddish to call him. As in, call him. Per the events of a fortuitous elevator run-in earlier in the evening, Pitt told Haddish that if they're both still single one year from now, then they should get together. Haddish recapped the interaction during an interview with Kelly Ripa later on in the evening, courtesy of a good old-fashioned round of Marry, Date, Ditch. (Ripa's idea, to which Haddish excitedly complied.)
Donning a sleek, white gown and a pair of fuzzy Ugg slippers, Haddish sat down with Kelly Ripa backstage during the Oscars ceremony Sunday night, March 4, for a brief round of banter on the issue of high heels (and, as most of the word's heel-wearing population will probably agree, the back-and-forth was also wildly validating) followed by a game of Marry, Date, Ditch. The contenders, which Ripa rolled out around the interview's halfway mark, are as follows: Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, and George Clooney. Sounds like some pretty tough competition, no? Ripa introduced Pitt's name first. But, before she could continue, her famously tenacious interviewee cut in with some pre-verdict commentary. (The verdict being, of course, Haddish's final selections for Marry, Date, Ditch.)
"Oh, I just met [Pitt] in the elevator!" Haddish interjected. "He said in one year if he's still single and I'm single, we're gonna do it. So, you know what that means." For anyone a little slow on the uptake, Haddish got the point across loud and clear. In lieu of a formal explanation as to what that actually means, the slapstick comedian instead drove the message home with a signature tongue-wag, which, suffice to say, wielded more than an ample supply of innuendo.
But, upon considering the real-life circumstances that might accompany a lusty fling with the acclaimed actor, producer, and full-time dad, Haddish paused for a second, dousing her formerly unbridled giddiness with a touch of pragmatism. After all, an offer to link up with the likes of Brad Pitt is probably worth a solid round of contemplation. Speaking to Ripa, Haddish continued her Pitt-themed mini rant. "But he do got seven kids," she pointed out. "I don't know if I could deal with a man that's got that many kids."
For the record, Pitt actually has six children with Angelina Jolie, not seven. That still might be a deal-breaker for Haddish, though. Because, even in the aftermath of Pitt and Jolie's highly publicized breakup last year, both have openly expressed their mutual commitment to co-parenting and remaining active pillars of support in each of their children's lives. Even so, Haddish told Ripa she'd probably give him a shot. At the video's end, the superstar comedian revealed her decision, re: Marry, Date, Ditch. "So, I would date Brad Pitt, marry George Clooney, and I would ditch Javier," Haddish said. Her rationale? "'Cause I don't know who Javier is," she finished, igniting uproarious bouts of laughter from off-camera. (Most recently, Bardem starred opposite Jennifer Lawrence in Darren Arnofsky's controversial psychological horror film, Mother!, which was met with widespread critique following its September 2017 release.)
For any eager inquirers wondering about the significance of Pitt's "one year" stipulation, rest assured: Ripa and Haddish are wondering, too. "Why do you have to wait a year?" Ripa asked the comedian after she'd recounted the elevator encounter. To that, Haddish just shrugged. "I don't know, he told me to wait a year," she replied nonchalantly, exuding all the effervescent, self-assured brilliance of a remarkably established woman who, at the end of the day, probably isn't too hung up on the "who's who" of her male admirers.
Still, if Pitt does decide to try his luck in 2019, Haddish might give him a shot. Who says Marry, Date, Ditch is just child's play, anyway?