When you took those career aptitude tests when you were younger, what were you told to be? Was it a builder, a baker, a candlestick maker? Because no matter what they told you, they were wrong. The only job for you is to be a professional chocolate taster — and now that job can be a reality. Cadbury, Oreo, and some of your other favorites are hiring a professional chocolate taster — in fact, they're hiring four of them to join their chocolate-tasting team, which must be the happiest and most beautiful team ever to ever exist. Chocolate tasters will work part-time for around eight hours a week, earning £10.75 an hour, according to Business Insider. That works out to about $14.32, for those of you who don't have your calculators handy. Almost fifteen bucks an hour to taste chocolate.
The job comes courtesy of Mondelez International, which owns some of the biggest chocolate names in the business, like Cadbury, Oreo, Milka, and Green & Blacks.
"Our Chocolate Tasters are key in helping Mondelez perfect and launch an entirely new product all over the world by tasting and providing feedback just like our consumers," the description explains. "You will work alongside approximately 11 Chocolate Tasters and a panel leader; sharing opinions and collaborating with others to reach an agreement on taste. No experience is required as full training will be provided to develop your taste buds and the specific vocabulary required to communicate your opinions." Seriously. The first responsibility listed for this role is "Be able to taste chocolate products and give objective and honest feedback." Like it's hard?
I'M ON BOARD. The job takes place in Wokingham, England — but I'm still on board.
With requirements like, "A passion for confectionary and taste buds for detection" and "Honesty when it comes to giving opinions," I'm seriously questioning everything in my life that isn't applying for this job. It's like it was made for me — and for every other opinionated person with a sweet tooth on the planet. Having a say in the delicious types of chocolate that are shipped to 150 countries worldwide? It's the dream. Also, I'm assuming I'd have access to an endless supply of Cadbury Whole Nut and Cadbury Creme Eggs, which would prove to be both a blessing and a burden — but one I'd be willing to take on.
But my favorite part of the entire job advert? "Due to an expected high number of applications for this tasty role, if you have not heard from us within 14 working days, your application has not been successful and we recommend you visit out career website for more opportunities." HOW WAS A HIGH NUMBER OF APPLICANTS UNEXPECTED!? If you advertise a job that is literally just eating chocolate and saying how you feel about it, please expect a high number of applicants. It should be the only thing you expect.
As far as dream jobs go, most people think along the lines of astronaut or actor — but that's because they just haven't been dreaming big enough. The opportunity to have an actual job as a candy taster? We've peaked. Game over. It's done. Go forth and proper, chocolate lovers, for your time is now.