Dean Unglert’s Comments On Breaking Up With Lesley Show He’s Still Learning A Lot About Relationships
Dean Unglert still sucks at dating. At least, that's what the Bachelor in Paradise star told Entertainment Tonight during Tuesday's episode of "Roses and Rosé." During the show, Dean Unglert finally explained why he and Lesley Murphy split up. "There was a brief instance where I didn't suck at dating for a while and now I suck again," said Unglert, who hosts an iHeartRadio podcast called Help! I Suck at Dating with Dean Unglert.
But, considering his comments to ET on the subject of his semi-recent breakup (the two publicly called it quits in early April), it actually sounds like Unglert might not currently "suck" at dating as much as he thinks. In fact, the beloved Bachelor in Paradise star seems to have learned quite a lot about what it means to be a healthy, loving partner in the aftermath of his and Murphy's relationship.
Which brings us back to the question of why the pair broke up in the first place. It sounds like the answer basically boils down to a two-pronged rationale: one, he wasn't ready; and two, sometimes, it's just not meant to be. Unglert said,
"You think you're ready for a relationship at a time in your life, and you slowly begin to realize you're not nearly as ready as you thought."
Speaking more specifically about his four-month relationship with Murphy that started on Bachelor Winter Games earlier this year, Unglert confirmed that the pair's ultimate decision to split up was mutual. Unglert told ET,
"It's just one of those things where sometimes two people aren't meant to be together, and I think ... neither of us wanted to drag it on longer than we had to."
In his comments, the reality star made it clear that he still thinks "Lesley's a great girl" even though she might not be his "forever person." That realization seems to have catalyzed the eventual breakup. Unglert offered some insight into his thoughts on "forever," and said,
"If this isn't your forever person, then you should kind of nip it in the bud and four months to end a relationship is better than 12 months, if it's not going to marriage and kids and all that kind of stuff."
But it seems like coming to terms about their compatibility was pretty heavily tied up in Unglert's lack of "readiness," as he called it, to be in a relationship in the first place. Unglert said that prior to dating Murphy, he'd always been under the impression that "no matter if you're ready or not, if the right person comes along, that's when you'll be ready." But in the aftermath of their relationship, it seems pretty clear that he has been doing quite a bit of self-reflecting. Now, he told ET, "I think you need to kind of be at 100 percent before you're ready to welcome another person in."
Residents of Bachelor Nation probably already know that Unglert has commented on his split from Murphy before, albeit in exceedingly cryptic terms. In early April, fans of the beloved couple were dismayed when E! News reported that Unglert and Murphy had broken up, citing a source who claimed "distance and traveling were a factor" in the otherwise amicable split. In the days that followed, both Unglert and Murphy confirmed the breakup, via two long-winded (and, in a lot of ways, vague) posts to their Instagram accounts.
And while it might have been less clear at the time what exactly those posts were getting at, given Unglert's more in-depth comments to ET, both seem to make more sense now.
"Despite how open and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves," reads Murphy's post-breakup Instagram post.
Echoing the overarching sentiment expressed in his own post-breakup post, Unglert told ET on Tuesday that he knows full well that he's got a lot of growing left to do before he'll actually be ready for a relationship. "I think that I still have a lot of discovery to do in myself before I'm really ready for something like [a loving relationship], and that's a hard thing to come to terms with," he said.
But, as Unglert revealed during an episode of his podcast shortly after the breakup, he's already started doing the work. "I've been mediating more and I'm going to start going to therapy this week," he told listeners. "All of this boils back down to, I think, my issues, my insecurities, my incredible fear of abandonment and needing to belong somewhere."
Breakup rationales aside, if Unglert's recent comments to ET are any indication, it certainly sounds like the BiP star is doing what he can to ensure that, whenever his next relationship does roll around, he'll be a better man for it.