If for some reason your version of the American dream involves sleeping in our current president’s former childhood home, allow me to bring you one step closer to that dream. For just $725 a night, you can rent Donald Trump’s childhood home on Airbnb. Located in Jamaica Estates, Queens, the Tudor-style house is currently available to book if staying in Trump’s old home is, like, a thing you’re into.
“Not much has been changed since the Trumps lived here,” the Airbnb listing states. The “opulent” decor throughout the home is meant to “represent the style and affluence in which the Trumps would have lived.” Basically, there are a lot of ornate dressers and the upholstery of the dining room chairs still gives off that striving-for-dad’s-approval vibe. The house is also decorated with current photos of and artwork featuring Trump, including a Warhol-style print of the President’s face in multiple colors. While presumably not part of the original decor, having a bunch of photos of Trump in a home where he used to live is pretty fitting. Trump is basically Trump’s favorite thing.
The house has five bedrooms, three-and-a-half bathrooms, and, according to the listing, can sleep up to 20 people. So, you and 19 of your closest friends can plan the perfect getaway, where you’ll spend the your stay probably surrounded by the ghosts and ghouls of Trump’s childhood.
The living room has ample sitting room for any guests as well a giant cutout of Donald J. Trump in the corner. “He is a great companion for watching Fox News late into the night…” the listing suggests. Which, like, no thanks pass.
There are plaques throughout the home that list fun facts about different rooms or feature quotes from the current President. There's a sign outside one room, denoting where Baby Trump most likely slept.
Most of the beds in the home are bunk beds. So, you’ll have to fight over the one king-sized bed available to rent.
You’ll notice there’s another plaque over the king-sized bed. What fun fact awaits us here?
In case your eyes are physically preventing you from reading it, the sign says, “In this bedroom, President Donald J. Trump was likely conceived, by his parents, Fred and Mary Trump. The world has never been the same.” Yes. For just $725 a night, you can sleep in the very bed where Trump’s parents had unprotected sex because…?
There aren’t any reviews on the listing yet, so yours could be the first! Let us know how lifelike that cardboard cutout is. Please give the internet details and an accurate count on just how many Trump photos there are in the house. Give us a full review of your emotional well-being after sleeping in the bed where Trump’s parents did it. Do it for America.