Themed desserts are one of the great joys of the holiday season — and thanks to one brand, we may have just found the themed holiday dessert to end all themed holiday desserts: Perry’s Ice Cream made an “Elf Trash” flavor for the 2018 holiday season. You heard me: Elf Trash. I don’t know about you, but that definitely tops my list for Best Seasonal Ice Cream Flavor Name In The History Of The Known Universe. Elf Trash. I love it, probably because I am trash myself.
If Perry’s isn’t familiar to you, that might because it’s a regional brand. Based in Akron, New York (yes, New York — Ohio isn’t the only state to have an Akron), Perry’s is sold throughout New York, Western Pennsylvania, New England, and Northeast Ohio. H. Morton Perry founded the company in 1918, according to the Perry’s website (although curiously, the site also notes elsewhere that H. Morton Perry didn’t mix up his first batch of ice cream until 1932) — and even now, a full century later, it’s still run by a member of the Perry family.
The brand is known for its creative flavors — Fireball, for example, blends hot cinnamon ice cream, cinnamon swirls, and cinnamon candies, while Bad Breakup brings sea salt caramel chocolate ice cream together with milk fudge swirls and fudge-filled hearts — so the fact that Perry’s seasonal flavors kick everything up a notch isn’t exactly unexpected. There are five winter holiday flavors this year, all of which were announced way back in October: Returning favorites Pumpkin Pie, Peppermint Stick, and a concoction of white chocolate and mint ice cream with red and green mint pieces called White Christmas; and new additions Hot Cocoa and the aforementioned Elf Trash.
But let’s be real: As good as all of the flavor sound, Elf Trash is the real standout here — not just because of what the flavor actually is, but also because of what it’s called. I absolutely want to jam something called Elf Trash in my face. That is amazing.
According to Perry’s, Elf Trash is the result of “sneaky elves… ‘accidentally’ [raiding] Santa’s cupboard.” With a base of white chocolate ice cream, each pint has been packed full of red and green fudge candies, fudge covered pretzels, fudge covered peanuts, and praline peanuts. It may not quite the four main food groups, but something tells me that Buddy the Elf would be A-OK with this treat. Heck, I would even go so far as to guess that Buddy may have even had a hand in its creation. It seems like a Buddy kind of thing to do.
I have a lot of questions about exactly what “trash” means in this context. Is the implication that the ice cream is made of refuse found around Santa’s workshop and repurposed by the elves? Does it mean “trash” in the “guilty pleasure” or “over the top” sense? Are the elves trash for creating the flavor? It’s anyone’s guess — but to be honest, I’m having so much fun coming up with all the possibilities here that maybe it ultimately doesn’t matter. Maybe the trash is just whatever we make of it.
But the fun doesn’t stop with the name of the flavor; I also have to give Perry’s credit for their A-plus Elf Trash social media posts. throughout the past few months, they’ve been staging photos of an Elf on the Shelf doll they’ve named Sugarplum Perry alongside Elf Trash, its various ingredients, and the tools and equipment used to make it — and the results are magnificent, even if you think the Elf on the Shelf is kind of creepy. (Or perhaps especially if you think the Elf on the Shelf is kind of creepy.)
Although the official flavor description of Elf Trash credits the flavor’s creation to “sneaky elves” more generally, the social media posts peg Sugarplum Perry himself as its progenitor — the photo announcing Elf Trash states, “Our mischievous little elf Sugarplum Perry has taken white chocolate ice cream and mixed in red and green fudge candies, fudge covered pretzels, fudge covered peanuts, and praline peanuts” — and imply that he’s kind of a terror to work with, to boot. Heck, maybe Sugarplum Perry is the “trash” in question here. He’s that coworker who has occasional flashes of brilliance — but it’s all buried deep underneath layer upon layer of obnoxiousness. Kind of like Michael Scott.
You can find out if any retailers near you carry Perry’s using their store locator; however, if you’re not in the area the brand typically serves, you’re not totally out of luck. Perry’s does ship to the contiguous 48 states, with options including overnight, two-day, and ground, depending on where you are. However, you’re limited to buying in bulk if you get it shipped — your only option is to buy pints in packs of eight. To be fair, I can think of worse things than to have eight pints of Elf Trash ice cream show up on your doorstep — but there are downsides: First, it’s expensive; an eight-pack costs $79.99, and the shipping is, uh, pricey (it’s $22 to ship to the DC metro area, for example, bringing the cost up to over $100). And second, storing that much ice cream might be an issue depending on your freezer situation.
But hey, if you’ve got the will and the means, go for it. If you order by Dec. 16, your Elf Trash should arrive in time for you to enjoy it on Christmas Day, according to the Perry’s online store. Here’s wishing you the trashiest holidays ever — and I mean that in the best way.