I love mustard. I really love it — I slather it on sandwiches, burgers, even on my grilled cheese or macaroni and cheese (I will not apologize for that). But even for a certified mustard-lover like me, this... this is just too much to take. French's, the king of American-style mustard, has teamed up with the ice cream company Coolhaus to celebrate National Mustard Day — a real thing — in a very intense way indeed. Together they've created, you guessed it, mustard-flavored ice cream. The week of August 3, National Mustard Day, you'll be able to get this mustard-flavored ice cream in California and NYC at limited locations. Oh, and it comes with a pretzel-flavored cookie, because mustard and pretzels should never be parted.
How did they make this ice cream? Or maybe the better question is, why? Why do we need to push the limits of human invention and consumption? Because we can. Because America. Because freedom.
"As lovers of sweet-meets-savory, pure ingredients, and unique creations, we are incredibly excited to be collaborating with French's Mustard in creating this one-of-a-kind product," Coolhaus CEO & founder Natasha Case, said in a press release. "It's been so fun to explore this classic condiment in a whole new way and create an unforgettable thoughtfully-crafted ice cream flavor with an All-American taste."
But of course, the big question is whether or not it really tastes like mustard. Well, yes and no. The folks at People took a little taste and said that initially you get "sweet hints of cotton candy and bubble gum ice cream" before you get to "that unmistakable tang that makes you want a hot dog real bad". So... so it tastes like cotton candy mustard? I just get more confused the more that I learn about it. Confused, but intrigued.
Where can you get this godless flavor mashup? Well, you might have to be a little creative and keep a lookout.
If you're on the west coast, you can grab the ice cream at Coolhaus’s location in Culver City, California, from August 2-4 and August 9-11. New Yorkers should keep their eyes peeled for a French's Mustard Ice Cream Truck (a horrifying and amazing phrase if I ever heard one). It will be near Rockefeller Center and Columbus Circle on August 1, then at Brooklyn Bridge Park and Madison Square Park on August 2. On August 3, it will head out to the Hamptons on Main Street and East Hampton Main Beach.
Mustard is definitely a staple condiment, but lately we haven't been shy about putting some frankly odd twists on the classic. We've seen Mayomust, a mustard-mayo hybrid — and we've even seen mustard pizza, which may be better in theory than it actually plays out in reality. And that's saying something. Of course, we've also seen some takes on mustard that actually make a lot of delicious sense. Trader Joe's launched a Honey Pale Ale Mustard which is easy to get behind and, you know, combines flavors that you might actually want to have combined.
I'm all about celebrating the mighty mustard seed, so I can totally see the potential joy in National Mustard Day. But will I be heading out for some mustard-flavored ice cream? Probably not. But you might be braver than I am — so keep your eyes out for a little truck of mustardy, ice creamy happiness.