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How Mercury Retrograde Will Mess With Your Sex Life This Spring, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
If you're like me, several times a year you may hear people blame everything, from spilling coffee on their white button-down to their flight being cancelled at the last minute, on Mercury going retrograde. From the way people spoke about it, I always treated Mercury retrograde like an urban myth: a Big Foot of sorts, with the power to come into your life and seriously stir the pot. But as it turns out, Mercury retrograde can feel too real, and some signs will feel March 2018's Mercury retrograde more than others — even when it comes to their sex lives.
Mercury retrograde is a much simpler concept than most realize: it refers to when a planet appears to be orbiting backwards instead of forwards. As it suggests a sort of deviation from the norm, people have suggested that Mercury retrograde is the universe's way of throwing everything into reverse. That's why when things get a little kooky, people are quick to blame Mercury being retrograde; it's a form of universal angst.
If you're concerned that Mercury retrograde might push your sex life in an absurd direction, Linda Joyce, an expert astrologer, has some tips for what each sign should watch out for in the bedroom during this spring's Mercury retrograde.
Aries (March 21-April 19): You Might Find Yourself In A Compromising Position
"Aries have a strong ego, but they’re naturally sexy," Joyce tells Bustle. "The only way they lose their confidence is if they can’t do something well. Rejection won’t stop them; they see it as a challenge. But if they tripped and fell on their face in front of you then it could embarrass them and then they will want to retreat or not be able to perform."
If you misstep while trying out something new in the bedroom, don't fret: it's just a byproduct of the universal shift! Plus, having a good laugh during sex may even bring you closer to your partner.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): You Could Get A Blow To Your Ego
"Tauruses are the natural lovers of the universe," Joyce says. "They pride themselves in being able to use their charisma to win you over. A retrograde won’t stop them unless they feel judged. Their ego is fragile. They need to feel valued. If they don’t have money to spend on their partner because of retrograde issues, it could affect their love life."
If you're feeling more insecure sexually, or struggling with body confidence these few weeks, take some time to do something that makes you feel good. Remind yourself of what you do love about yourself.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): You May Become Your Own Worst Enemy
"Geminis live in fear of making a wrong choice," Joyce says. "It’s so easy to make mistakes during a retrograde that it will fill them with more insecurity and they won’t take risks. If you don’t feel confident, nothing works well and if you pretend the other person can feel it."
If you're feeling uncertain about trying something new in bed, don't get in your own way of happiness! You deserve what you want in bed just as much as anyone else does, so there's no reason you shouldn't for it and reap the benefits.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): You Should Watch Out For Abandonment
"Cancers are internal people and very much in touch with their emotions," Joyce says. "They are strong from within. Or they totally lack confidence. The strong Cancer should do well during a retrograde. They’re getting their confidence from themselves so it won’t affect them — unless they feel abandoned. Cancers live in fear of emotional abandonment."
So in the coming weeks, remind yourself just how much your partner loves you, and tackle that fear of being left alone head on!
Leo (July 23-August 22): You Might Lose Your Initiative
"Leos appear strong even when they’re not," Joyce says. "You won’t know how much a retrograde affects them because they won’t let you know. But if things at work are not working for them, if they don’t get the raise or the position they want, they can lose their inner confidence, which will affect their performance. They may not take the initiative in sex like they usually do."
If you've been wanting to message someone cute on a dating app, but are suddenly having second thoughts, don't get too in your head. You've got this.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): You May Go Through A Dry Spell
"Virgos are extremists," Joyce says. "They either don’t pay attention to what others think and do and just do what they believe in, or they are very insecure and hide out except with people they’re comfortable with. A retrograde can keep them isolated. That’s not good for anyone’s sex life."
Dry spells are NBD, but may sure you're not totally isolating yourself outside the bedroom too. Surround yourself with people who make you feel confident.
Libra (September 23-October 22): You Should Expect The Unexpected
"Libras are either leaders or they want to please," Joyce says. If they’re leaders the retrograde will pass without much attention. If they’re pleasers then nothing will go the way they expected and of course, it’s all their fault. A lack of confidence keeps people away from sex where they feel overexposed."
As you set out on your sexual exploits over the next few weeks, don't be afraid if things don't go according to plan. Sometimes, that's even what makes sex fun!
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): You Might Become The Submissive
"Scorpio is a sign of power that comes from within," Joyce says. "The confident Scorpio won’t slow down just because things don’t go their way. The Scorpio who lacks confidence will stay hidden inside themselves or take orders from their partner."
If you're someone who feels uncomfortable at the thought of becoming completely submissive and allowing your partner take the lead, say something to them the next time you're hooking up. You should both be comfortable with what you're doing in bed.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): You Will Be Lacking In Direction
"When they’re strong, they don’t expect life to be easy, so the retrograde won’t bother them that much," Joyce says. "If they’re insecure, then they will look to those in charge to tell them what to do."
If you're a Sagittarius, you may not be feeling too turned on in the coming weeks — and that's OK. Wait until the time is right.
Capricorns (December 22-January 19): You Might Be Facing Rejection
"The retrograde could give them a message that someone doesn’t like them when it’s not true," Joye says. "They may see a turned down invitation as a rejection when perhaps they just couldn’t make the party. Once again wherever you’re insecure, this is where it will affect you."
If you're feeling particularly dissed by your latest hookup or if it feels like your partner is rejecting you when you make a move, remember Mercury retrograde may be at work. Your best bet? Talk to them about it and see what's up.
Aquarius (January 20 to February 18): You Will Remain Independent
"Aquarius is an air sign and is very independent," Joyce says. "They like to do things their own way. They’ll not be too affected by the retrograde. They’re not depending on others to make things happen. What a retrograde can do is isolate them. If they lack social confidence they will stay away from others."
Stay true to yourself in the bedroom, and keep doing you.
Pisces (February 19 to March 20): Things Might Not Go According To Plan
"Pisces is either extremely confident or very insecure," Joyce says. "If they're insecure everything is their fault. And with a retrograde, there is a lot that doesn’t go as it should. When you’re not confident, sex doesn’t work."
When you're hooking up, remember that confidence is key. Even if you're second-guessing what you're doing, live in the moment and enjoy it!
No matter how your sign is affected by Mercury in retrograde, remember that it only lasts a few weeks. Whether you find yourself feeling slightly less confident in bed than usual or just not in the mood — this period will pass. You will be back to normal (whatever that looks like for you) in no time!
