Yes, you read that title correctly, this is really happening. Seriously, drop everything you're doing because you need to get up, get the hell out of dodge and en route to free culinary delights because there's free food at Pizza Express. Come on, everybody knows that the most delicious pizza is the free kind. Even as I am typing this I am salivating. Mmm free stuff. As it's the last week in the month, this is potentially the best news you've had all day, maybe ever, maybe even in your entire life.
Why though? What is the catch? Surely they can't just be giving out free pizza? Is this like a trial thing? Do I have to give the pizza back? I don't want to give the pizza back. I love the pizza. It is my friend.
OK calm down, there really isn't a catch! All you have to do is sign up to their app, give them your name, DOB, email addy, number, name your fave pizza express locations, your fave dish, your dietary requirements, and voila. Free pizza.
However, there are of course some terms and conditions. They are pretty chill and reasonable but let me tell you the main ones so you don't accidentally miss out on, you guessed it, free pizza.
OK, play this while I tell you the rules...
Most important to remember is the fact that this offer only runs until 23:59 on Tuesday May 29, 2018. But it's cool guys, we have four days. However this does not get to be one of those things you put off forever like registering for the GP or unlocking your Apple ID. Do it right now.
If you don't have space on your phone, make space. You can go off Tinder for a bit or something. You will be OK. Once you have filled out all the relevant fields, you will be emailed a voucher in no more than 12 hours. This voucher is only valid for six weeks (not including Father's Day) so get to eating ASAP. You don't even have to print it, just add it to your wallet on your smartphone.
Also, if you are thinking this might be nice to cash in on a road trip, I'll stop you there. This offer is not valid at their motorway service locations. Similarly you can't use it at and pop up or music venue locations. That's cool though, all you need is your classic local Pizza Express to provide that fantastically fabulous free pizza.
Dining with loved ones is nice and all but sadly this voucher cannot be used in conjunction with any other vouchers. So maybe go there with the friends who have fancy jobs. They can pay while you freeload. Maybe they will buy you wine and you can nick their dough balls.
Or maybe you just want to get take away and have the best kind of Netflix and chill. The kind where it's just you and the pizza and the TV and extra snacks that you have provided for yourself because like, self love is important y'all. Hold fire! Sadly this is an eat in only offer. That's OK though. Bring a book or your laptop and you can still chow down without the stress and or anxiety of actual conversation. Phew.
But what if you don't feel like pizza and want something different? Quick let me get a thermometer maybe you are ill. Only joking! This offer also applies to al forno dishes and... wait for it... salads. Salads. Actually give me a litre of that house dressing and it's all Gucci.
What if you want your pizza not only free but free from gluten? That's cool, they are happy to switch to a coeliac friendly base with no extra cost too.
Now, you are informed, it's time to get your pizza on. Go forth.