There's no doubt that to
spice up your sex life the general consensus is to try new things and be as adventurous as you can. However, sometimes your tried-and-true simple favorites will always beat the pressure of trying to contort your body to fit the newest sex positions that are more complicated than they are enjoyable. Sure they might be exciting for the moment, but holding a weird position comfortably can be a huge distraction when all you want is an intimate moment (or an orgasm). It's not to say that you shouldn't ever venture into different positions that stimulate all the right spots, but it's safe to say that you know your body better than anyone else and you know which positions help you to reach orgasm and maximize your pleasure. So how do you make the most out of your go-tos?
One easy way to maximize pleasure in your favorite sex position? Make sure you're comfortable. "Use pillows," clinical sexologist Dr. Martha Tara Lee of
Eros Coaching, tells Bustle. "They can help assist with balance, relieve stress on knees, elbows and others joints. You can try U-shaped neck rest pillows, blow up air pillows, round-roll pillows, bolsters, memory foam pillows etc."
Here's how to get the most out of your favorite go-to sex positions, from missionary to sex standing up.
Ahh, sex positions 101. Missionary is simple but effective: Your partner is on top of you and you're face-to-face. This one is probably the first one you tried when you lost your virginity, but it remains not only a fave among many women but a go-to for when you want to feel extra close and intimate with your partner. Sure it's the favored position for every coming-of-age teen comedy, but there’s so much more you can do for yourself and your orgasm.
“I like this position because your body is supported with your partner being in charge of the depth and speed of thrusting," says Dr. Lee. "When in this position, you can focus on the sensations from the penetrations and also from within your body. You could do eye gazing, kiss if they lean or lay on top of you, and you could interlace your fingers around their neck, grab their shoulders for support, or cup their buttocks to guide or encourage their movements. You can also do your pelvic floor squeezes around his penis as he thrusts in and out."
What's not to love about doggy position?
It hits ~the spot~ and you're able to dictate the angle of penetration and how it feels for you. You have much more control in this position than you probably think you do. "You can vary the angle of penetration by resting on your arms instead of hands, and you can get support by placing a pillow or two under your stomach so you don't have to support your body weight completely," Dr. Lee tells us.
She also suggests having your partner pull back your hair and having them ride you like a horse (if you enjoy these things, of course). "This does help with playing out domination and surrender — even if for a while," she says.
Additionally, doggy style doesn't invite eye contact with your partner because of the position that you're in. Make it even hotter by making it a point to look over your shoulder and
make direct eye contact with your partner to make the experience even more intimate and hot.
A personal note: Try doggy position facedown on your stomach with your partner lying on top of you but propped up slightly in a push-up position. It places you in a comfortable position to stimulate your clitoris.
In this position, a variation of the woman-on-top position, you squat above your partner and use your pubococcygeus muscle or PC muscle, which is
one of the pelvic floor muscles that helps to support the bladder and bowel, in both sexes. It may not sound super sexy but this muscle, Dr. Lee says, helps to clench your partner tight from within. This controlled movement, on your behalf, helps to make the experience better for the both of you.
Get the most out of this position by putting your hands anywhere on your partner's body for support before guiding yourself up and down. This variation allows you to have better control of the pace and depth of penetration, says Dr. Lee.
By relying on your thighs to do the work, the added bonus of trying this position is that you may be able to last a little bit longer than in other positions. With squat on top, comfort is key and it's minus all the aches and pains that come with trying new acrobatic-contortionist positions.
Cowgirl is great, but
reverse cowgirl position is also a favorite, where you're facing away from a partner who is lying down. Dr. Lee likes this position because you have the ability, thanks to the way you're siting, to focus on the thrusting and rhythm, concerning yourself not so much with making eye contact, but with maximizing your pleasure and reaching orgasm.
In keeping with the spirit of the position, "somebody who wishes to be more assertive side may wish to buy herself a lasso or whip — or just make believe. It's all good fun!," says Dr. Lee.
A personal favorite: I love the slight challenge and that fact that it doesn't require a bed — you can do this one anywhere where there's a wall and a little privacy. Standing sex is where both partners are standing during penetration. The onus is on you, using the wall to support yourself while being penetrated.
Get the most out of it by bending your knees to change the angle of penetration, says Dr. Lee. "[Your partner] may wish to intensify the depth of penetration by holding up [your] leg or legs," she says.
At the end of the day though, it all comes down to you and your partner. "The best sex position is the one what makes both [partners] feel comfortable and works for them," says Dr. Lee. Amen to that.