Many of us have a longing inside us to get to know others on a deep level. So, it's a shame we spend so many of our interactions engaging in small talk. But having deep conversations from the get-go can be intimidating. What, then, would medium talk look like?
"For a lot of people, small talk has become a burden because there’s this rigid formula one tries to use, completely discounting the fact that maybe the formula doesn’t fit their personality," NYC-based psychotherapist and entrepreneur Lilian Ostrovsky tells Bustle. However, it doesn't have to be like this. You can connect with somebody you've just met by talking about what's going on in the room or even the weather. The trick is to use topics like these as jumping-off points to discuss your own experiences and gradually go deeper.
"The acts of listening and free association and intention setting are the building blocks for small-talk plus — a little something extra that can create a sense of play or connection with the other person," Ostrovsky says. Here are four things to try if you want to take your small talk up a notch and feel connected, even in conversations with complete strangers.