How To Tell Your Partner You Need To Slow Things Down

Moving too fast in a relationship is tricky. First, because we often don't realize that we're doing it — we're just caught up in how much we're enjoying everything. And when everything is going well, fast feels good even if it's not. "If you meet someone and automatically think they are 'The One,' you risk idealizing them and minimizing differences," relationship coach and therapist Anita Chlipala tells Bustle "Also, infatuation lasts, on average, about 18 months, so it’s normal to think your partner is awesome, especially in the beginning." But if you have your head on your shoulders and you know the signs, you might realize that things are moving too fast.

But just knowing doesn't always help — because then how do you slow them down all of the sudden? Part of the speed comes from momentum, so explaining to someone that you want to move more slowly can be scary. You're worried that if the momentum stops, then all of the good things will stop too. Or maybe you're worried they won't think that you like them as much as you used to, even if that's not how you're feeling at all. Talking to them can be tricky, but you really need to do it — because when things move too fast they often burnout too fast. Here's what you have to consider.