Though sperm is often associated with goings-on in the bedroom, spitting and swallowing, and making babies, there are so many other ways it can be used. Actually, there are a ton of sperm uses — for your health, mind and well-being, and even your cooking — that you probably never even thought were possible. While it's up to you how (and if) you enjoy sperm, there are a lot of people out there testing out what these little tadpole-shaped guys are capable of, and it's pretty freaking mind-blowing.
There are a lot of things a guy can do to spruce up his sperm (so to speak!), from frequent exercise (he'll create more), eating certain foods (eat fruit versus asparagus, for instance, and their partner will probably be more likely to want to swallow), to enjoying more nuts. Nuts make nuts healthier, it seems. How meta.
The evidence suggests there's actually not enough protein in semen to make it good for your skin, but that doesn't mean you can't use it for other things. Take a look below at some of the pretty bizarre things you never knew you could do with sperm. And yeah, I bet male scientists were thrilled to share this news.
1. It May Help Prevent Tooth Decay
Semen doesn't just contain sperm, but also vitamins like zinc and calcium, which is why some claim it may help prevent tooth decay. Of course, it's probably a good idea to continue using toothpaste, seeing as the American Dental Association has never suggested semen has any significant effect on your dental health. While semen does contain vitamins that help keep your teeth healthy, it might not contain those vitamins in concentrated enough amounts to actually make a difference.
2. You Can get Spermine Facials
Though shows like Nip/Tuck have aired episodes about sperm "facials," the supposed health benefits of rubbing straight up semen on your face have been largely debunked. “While a healthy, balanced diet contains vitamins and minerals as well as protein, the potential benefits of a similar topical preparation and their relationship to healthy skin remain elusive,” Beverly Hills dermatologist Will Kirby told the Daily Beast in 2017. In fact, he pointed out, rubbing semen on skin around mucous membranes can cause irritation and even spread STIs.
It's important to remember that the spermine facial you'd get at a spa is not a semen facial though. Spermine, an antioxidant found in semen, can actually be synthesized in labs, New York Magazine reported, and used in spa products.
3. It Can Be Used As Invisible Ink
Secret agent sperm man! Or something. As it turns out, semen has been used in some weird ways throughout history. During WWI, the British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6) discovered semen could also work as invisible ink. Apparently, their motto was "Every man has his own stylo!" Clever.
4. You Can Cook With It
There's a book by Fotie Photenhauer called Natural Harvest, that is a collection of sperm-based cooking. Recipes include Irish Coffee with Extra Cream. OK...I see what you did there! According to Columbia University's "Go Ask Alice" site though, you'd have to be "gulping gallons" of semen each day to get any sufficient amount of protein.
5. You Can Fight Fire With It
Who knew that sperm was a healthier alternative to the products currently being used as flame-retardants? Fish sperm, that is. Through a series of tests earlier this year, researchers at the Polytechnic University of Turn in Italy found that sperm from fish has a DNA that doesn't burn in fire.
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