Catch me busting through an unsuspecting tween's wall and shouting "OH YEAHHH" this summer, because Kool Aid Sparklers — a literal sparkling Kool Aid — exists in this same universe that you and I do right now. Apparently we've all been sleeping on these, because not only are they available to purchase in stores, but you can stock up in a big way online, too. Is Kool-Aid the new Beyoncé? Because it may have just dropped the most vital thing to our collective '90s baby existence without saying a peep.
The flavors of this bold LaCroix disruptor include Cherry, Grape, Tropical Punch, and Orange, according to Kool-Aid's website. Each box contains six 7.5-ounce cans of sweet, sparkling nostalgia. They were recently spotted on shelves by food Instagrammer Markie Devo, who noted, "There was a time when kid’s were only offered 3 different type of fruit drinks for their lunchbox..now you have to offer if they want a wine glass and a olive to go with that LOL." Because yes, if you think I, an unrepentant '90s gremlin baby, am not planning to mix these in all of my drinks from this day going forward, then you have assumed that I am a far more sophisticated human being than I actually am.
Take, for instance, this Tropical Punch Flavor that is begging to be mixed with a (responsible adult amount of) tequila; or its Cherry brethren, which I wouldn't not mix with Kahlua before closing my eyes and pretending I'm on a beach.
It seems that this is very much a move intended to target Kool Aid's grown up millennial audience, who are likely far more interested in the idea of a sparkling juice in a can than the younger folks are; and they wouldn't be the first drink brand to launch something that entices '90s babies as of late. Martinelli's just launched 1868 Hard Cider, which takes your usual sparkling apple juice to new heights — but unfortunately for 99 percent of us, is only selling in select Costcos in Northern California.
Welch's, too, is getting in on this juice upgrade trend, with the release of Welch's Sparkling Plus Energy Drinks, per ChewBoom. Excellent news for all the sleep-deprived, nostalgia-heavy millennials out there, because now you can relive the glory of childhood and escape the dreaded 3 p.m. slump at the same time.
And if that doesn't do the trick ... also per ChewBoom, Baskin-Robbins just released a line of Energy Freezes in three different flavors that honestly just look like an extremely caffeinated, albeit delicious, ice cream Slurpee. If you want to see if you're up to that particular challenge, participating stores are sampling it out to customers on August 5.
Whatever juice bliss you decide you want to follow this month, there's something out there for you — in the meantime, catch me stocking up my bar cart with sparkling Kool Aid and Instagramming every second of it like the Cool Kid that '90s me always wanted to be.