My Partner & I Checked Off Our Sex Bucket List At A Clothing-Optional Resort

Suzannah Weiss

I’ve never really had a sexual bucket list. But when my partner and I were invited to the clothing-optional resorts Desire Riviera Maya and DDesire Pearl, I figured it was time to make one. The list included: public sex, sex on the beach, erotic massages, pole dancing, and sex in a jacuzzi. So, we were ambitious. But having an amazing sex life is a good ambition to have.

Desire Riviera Maya and Desire Pearl are both located in Riviera Maya, Mexico. They’re not unique in that regard — Riviera Maya is a popular tourist destination full of beach resorts — but what makes them unusual is that guests can be (and usually are) fully nude in the pool and beach areas and most days, you can spot some public sexual activity — if not by the jacuzzi, then in the playroom, which was designed entirely for this purpose. There are also sex-themed events, like pole dancing classes, foam parties (where the foam comes out of a giant inflatable penis, of course), and shows involving erotic dances.

Very few of our bucket list items panned out the way we hoped, but we did get a lot of funny stories out of our attempts to fulfill them. Here’s how each went down.


Sex On The Beach

Courtesy of Desire

The Desire resorts have beds on the beach, so this one was not too difficult to fulfill. One night at Desire Riviera Maya, we got onto a bed after dinner and my partner went down on me. I’m not sure if anyone was in ear shot, but knowing someone might be made it thrilling … though maybe not worth it. We both got off the bed covered in mosquito bites.

On our second trip, we had a lovely dinner on a gazebo by the beach as part of Desire Riviera Maya’s “gazebo of passion” experience, which also included a “love bed” next to tables with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. We thought about attempting sex on the beach again, but the mosquitos were out, so we made a headline to the hot tub instead.


Public Sex

Courtesy of Desire

I’ve fantasized for a while about having sex in public, so before our trip, we planned out a few possible fantasies. One was to have sex in the playroom, but we both became uncomfortable with so many people getting it on right next to us. Another was for him to give me oral sex someplace where people could see us, which we almost accomplished with our beach rendezvous. The last was for him to kiss me while I masturbated using the jacuzzi jets. My partner got shy, so we waited until after dark to do that as well. But even if nobody could see us, I’m pretty sure they heard us.

The one time someone definitely did see us was when we had sex with our blinds open a few times, leading a fellow guest to tell us that our “lovemaking was very erotic.” I agreed.


Erotic Massages

Courtesy of Desire

Both Desire resorts offer erotic massages, where the masseuse massages your genitals along with the rest of your body. According to what other guests have told me, the masseuses sometimes stick around and offer extra stimulation while the couples hook up after the actual massage. My partner and I did not make it that far.

At the beginning of my massage, I told my masseur to apply a lot of pressure to my back because it had been sore lately. He did a pretty good job with that, but the massage was over without any genital touching whatsoever. “That’s funny,” I told my partner. “I thought they were supposed to touch our genitals.” He replied that his masseuse did lightly graze his penis, and my face grew red, both with envy that someone else touched my partner’s penis and with anger that I didn't receive such a courtesy myself. I stormed out crying, and both practitioners caught up with me. “I thought you wanted a different kind of massage because you asked for more pressure on your back,” mine said.

Still crying, I met my partner outside the spa in a hot tub, where he comforted me. He seemed to find my outburst endearing, and though I very much didn’t, it's nice to have someone who thinks I’m cute even when I’m irrationally angry. The next time we visited the spa, we opted for regular deep-tissue massages.


Pole Dancing

Courtesy of Desire

I didn’t make it to any of Desire’s pole dancing classes, but I did take a pole dancing class a few years ago in New York. That gave me some very limited knowledge to bring to Desire’s disco night, where there’s a big pole next to the stage. While everyone was dancing, I grabbed the pole, wrapped my body around it, and spun around until I’d reached the floor. Then, a staff member came over and tried to show me how to hold my hands. Her technique was terrifying. It felt like I was going to slip. So, I reverted to my personal “march around the pole and slide down” technique. My partner still clapped for me, so that’s what counts.


Sex In A Jacuzzi

Courtesy of Desire

I’ve never attempted sex in water, largely because I’ve been warned that water not only drains your natural lubrication but also can make condoms less effective. But sex doesn’t just mean intercourse, and one form of sex I can definitely enjoy in a jacuzzi is masturbation. There are few sex toys as powerful as good, old-fashioned jacuzzi jets.

After our dinner in the gazebo of passion, my partner joined me in the hot tub, holding me just so that the jet shot out onto my vulva. I very much enjoyed it — so much so that after we swam around a little, I asked him to do it again.

By most definitions of success, sex in a jacuzzi was the only bucket list item we succeeded at. But by my definition of success, we succeeded at them all. We grew as a couple, we got some good laughs, and we got a great education — because sex education is always continuing.