Behind every succulent is a proud plant parent, ready to Instagram and document their lil green bub's life and times. Now you can get a whole lot more festive in your plant parenthood, thanks to these teensy Christmas ornaments for succulents. The "Festive Plant Baubles" set from Firebox comes with ten itty bitty ornaments in fun holiday colors, a miniature star, and even a tiny bit of tinsel. Essentially, you can skip the Christmas tree this year and doll up your succulents for a mere $8.99.
All cuteness aside, the sustainability of this — that is, if you happen to already own succulents that can withstand little baubles — is actually a pretty neat alternative to buying a full-on Christmas tree for your apartment (and much better than buying a fake one, which is less sustainable than you might think). And if that isn't enough of a motivator to turn all your succulents into versions of the tree in A Charlie Brown Christmas, also consider that you will be able to Instagram this upside down and backwards (preferably next to a delicious advent calendar, but one aggressively holiday-themed thing at a time).
"Christmas up your cacti. Take your tiny trees to tinsel town. Shove some presents under them and it’s almost like you’re back home for the season, only without all the rows and parental disappointment," says the description on Firebox's website. Ouch, but also, legit. At least the cuteness of this will mitigate the scorch of that burn.
Once you've leaned into the holidays hard enough to justify putting ornaments on your succulents, the rest of the decoration possibilities are basically an infinite (and extremely extra) horizon. Take, for instance, another Firebox product that just arrived for the holidays — the Festive Boozeballs. While the idea of putting alcohol in Christmas ornaments is nothing new (our generation is nothing if not innovative when it comes to storing alcohol), these take some of the DIY guesswork out of the whole affair because they're specifically designed to hold booze. Each pack comes with six baubles large enough for a shot of a drink of your choice, along with the instructions to "Fill these six baubles up with any drink of your choice and get your tree LIT!", as well as the declaration that you will "Get everyone sozzled!" They retail for $12.99 per pack, which is perhaps a small price to pay for the joy of being able to pluck a drink off the tree in the middle of Christmas Eve dinner (assuming that you aren't saving some for Santa, who no doubt deserves a nip).
Your wee succulents, however, are unable to withstand the burden of your family's favorite Christmas rum, so they'll have to stick to the teensy baubles. Now all you need is a bunch of teensy micro-presents to go under them, and you'll truly peak both as a plant owner and a millennial. Happy holidays, y'all, from my irresponsibly watered but nonetheless loved succulents to yours.