As anyone who has ever had the privilege of experiencing a Sonic Drive-In knows, there is no experience quite as sacrosanct as consuming one of their frozen beverages. The slushes, especially, seem to prove that there is truly an infinite horizon of things humanity can improve upon — with flavors from Cherry to Blue Coconut, mix-ins like popping candy and Jolly Ranchers, and even (gasp) Slushes made with real fruit, it seems that there is no barrier to what our species can achieve. But this begs the question: now that Sonic is making a Pickle Juice Cone Slush that will debut this summer, has humanity taken this dessert innovation a step too far?
This controversial news comes to the internet by way of Food & Wine's Maria Yagoda, who experienced the concoction herself after Sonic invited her to their headquarters in Oklahoma City. Sonic representatives told her that the Pickle Juice Cone Slush will be available to the (grateful? unsuspecting?) public nationwide starting this June. According to Yagoda, the drink errs more toward sweet than the sour you might be expecting. "Sweet and tangy, the bright brine compensates for the over-savoriness you might have been worried about," Yagoda wrote. She added that it might even be a little too sweet.
Yagoda also notes that the Pickle Juice Cone Slush is appropriately bright green in color, which I assume will come in handy for those of us reliving in the '90s who have been looking for a convenient way to slime our friends, or those of us reliving the '80s looking for a fun addition to their Ghostbusters cosplay group. What is perhaps a bit more shocking than the existence of the slush is that, according to a Sonic representative who spoke to Yagoda, you can add the pickle-flavored syrup used to make it on literally anything on the menu — I'm talking pickle syrup sundaes, pickle syrup burgers, PICKLE SYRUP TOTS. This is the pickle syrup's world and we're all just living in it.
As someone who only just recently tried her first pickle in 26 years of existing on this Earth, I don't have proper context for whether or not this is a "jump for joy!" or "run for hills!!!" type of moment for my fellow foodies — but in the aftermath of this news hitting the internet, both sides already have things to say about it.
Some people, for instance, are already hecka on board with the concept, and eagerly awaiting the June release.
Others are ... well, less impressed. But you know what your teachers always said: never judge a Sonic slush by its color.
As it turns out, there has never been a time quite more exciting to be a pickle aficionado than right now, in the Year Of Our Stormi Webster's Birth 2018, just a few weeks after yet another pickle-flavored food broke the internet. Heluva Good debuted a dill pickle dip, a sour, creamy concoction perfect for dipping chips, veggies, sandwiches, and honestly, probably pickles, too (PICKLE-INCEPTION, MY FRIENDS). This pickle-lover's fantasy is already available on store shelves nationwide, so you won't even have to wait until the summer to experience it for yourself.
In the meantime, we will, alas, have to wait until June to get the answers to all of our burning questions about the Pickle Juice Cone Slush — questions that I presume, knowing our generation, are not just limited to "What will this pair best with?" but "What's the best background for me to Instagram this on?" See all of y'all against a trendy brick wall in a few months, pickle-flavored desserts in hand.