Gird your scaly souls, my aquamarine friends, because the Summer of Mermaid is upon us. We’ve got color-changing mermaid tea and rose gold mermaid pool floats, and starting this month, Target has a Mermaid ICEE. We’re all mermaids now because Target says so.
The new fish girl-themed ICEE initially gained attention after Instagram foodie account @theimpulsivebuy shared a photo the drink spotted at a local Target. “According to a post on a website for an amusement park that got the flavor before Target, the ICEE Mermaid flavor is a combination of strawberry, raspberry, and blueberry,” the Instagram caption reads. One person commented, “it tastes like a sour version of the blue one.” (The OG blue ICEE is blue raspberry flavored.)
This new mermaid drink is bright blue and topped with pink and blue sprinkles. It’s either intentionally iridescent or just reads as such because of the condensation on the cup. Either way, wow, can you believe it: cup sweat is on brand for this summer.
Speak of cups, the ICEE cup is, of course, mermaid-themed as well. It features an under-the-sea scene with a multicolored mermaid tail, and the cup is clear so you show off your bright blue drink. Then, you can save your novelty cup to sip on a DIY mermaid cocktail poolside. The world is your oyster which is also extremely on brand.
Imagine strolling through the store, sipping on a Mermaid ICEE while perusing the selection of mermaid decor, mermaid partyware, mermaid toys, and that impulse-buy dollar section. Imagine walking out to the Target parking lot, stopping traffic with your bright blue ICEE and coordinating bright blue tongue. Imagine arriving at home, with your 37 Target bags and the satisfaction of knowing that to mermaids, the ocean tastes like berries. (I’m assuming that’s why the drink is flavored as such.)
Because good, trendy things can only last so long, the mermaid drink is only available for a limited time. So, best to get yours while ASAP.
Last year, Target offered a limited-edition Pink Unicorn ICEE that came in a very “Rainbow Brite meets Lisa Frank-esque” cup. The ICEE itself was bright pink and tasted like watermelon. Not sure which part of the unicorn tastes like watermelon, but I’m going to go with the sweat.
If you’re in search of this year’s summer drink, you also might need to look around for a Target that hasn’t been infiltrated by an in-store Starbucks. Worst comes to worst, you could order a Starbucks Dragon Drink to quench your mythological thirst.
Once you get your hands on a Mermaid ICEE, the possibilities are as endless as the ocean is deep. You could pair yours with Hostess’ new Mermaid cupcakes. They look like a ding dong had a baby with a Mermaid ICEE and wow what a sentence to type down in this, the 2019th year of our lord and savior Ariel. For just $2.97, you too could stuff your mermaid face with yellow cake cupcakes, dotted with pink sprinkles, stuffed with a white creme filling, and topped with teal blue frosting and a bright pink swirl. Vegetables and non-neon colored food? Sorry, can’t hear you with this iridescent ocean water in my ears.
If you feel like making a full mermaid day out of it, you could start your morning with mermaid cereal, a thing that actually exists. You can thank/praise/blame General Mills for the limited-edition cereal which is “naturally fruit-flavored sweetened corn puffs with other natural flavors.” The cereal itself has light orange star-shapes and and teal-colored mermaid tails. Also, it’s fruit flavored.
Happy sipping, you mermaid freaks.