Earlier this year, my boyfriend started a new job after years of working freelance. One day I was feeling kind of frisky, so I sent him a sexy photo via Facebook Messenger. That’s the app we usually use to chat and I’ve sent him photos there before, but I forgot one very important detail that day. Namely, the fact that he was in an open office. With other people. And a giant computer screen. Oh, and it turns out he was in a meeting when I sent it and Messenger was up on his screen and it was very, very possible that his new coworkers were looking at parts of me that I did not want them to see — ever. Cue my incredibly embarrassed, bright red face.
So, after that, I decided there would be no more sexting done via Facebook Messenger. (I’d also forgotten the fact that Messenger default displays all of your images in the righthand toolbar, whoops!) But I didn’t want to stop sexting altogether. He and I got in the habit of sexting for the couple of months when our relationship was long distance and I like it as a way to build tension and flirt, even though we live together now.
Things have changed quite a bit on the sexting app scene in the past few years. For one thing, we’re a lot more concerned about encryption now than we used to be — which is definitely good. (Encryption means that your sexts and sexy photos are safe from hackers or thieves, which is definitely a feature you should be looking for when you’re sexting.) For another, disappearing photos are no longer the novelty they were when Snapchat came on to the scene. And speaking of Snapchat, you’ll notice that it’s conspicuously absent from this list. That’s because while they may have been one of the first to push the disappearing photo idea, they haven’t done enough in subsequent years to protect users against screenshots.
But I do recommend these seven apps for sexting in a long-distance relationship. (Or a work-from-home/work-in-an-office relationship.) Have fun and happy sexting!
Signal is the number one go-to encrypted app, loved by security experts and promoted by the one and only Edward Snowden. It’s open source — which means that anyone can use their code to build their own platforms and apps — and it’s used as the foundation for a lot of the best encrypted apps, as you’ll see below. In addition to encrypted text messages, Signal also offers encrypted video calls (because you know sexting isn’t just about pics and texts) and password protection (so you don’t have to worry about anyone stumbling across those steamy messages).
OhMiBod’s app and sex toy take sexting to a whole other level. Instead of sending sexy pics or texts, you can use this app to control a sex toy that your partner is using — over any distance. Combine it with one of the encrypted messenger apps and send photos or video to your partner as you play for extra fun.
3Facebook Secret Conversations
Immediately after I sent that ill-fated sext, I remembered that Facebook now has a “secret conversations” feature, built on the Signal architecture. While Messenger is pretty insecure, Secret Conversations boasts end-to-end encryption. In order to make a message secret, open a new message in the app and the click the little slider in the top right hand corner. Once you’ve enabled that, no one — not the government, not hackers, not even Facebook — can read your messages. They also let users put an expiration time on their messages.
WhatsApp is owned by Facebook and its encryption is also built on the Signal code, so it features end-to-end encryption that means no one but you and the person you’re sexting can see what’s up. WhatsApp also has a two-factor authentication option. Two-factor authentication is a way for you to verify your identity twice, like with a passcode sent to your phone.
Kiiroo is another app-connected sex toy creator that has the added advantage of a toy that’s built for penises, whereas OhMiBod is primarily for vaginas. The vibrator and Fleshlight are connected via the internet so that actions taken on one can be felt on the other. It’s like you’re doing it, but from really far away. (And without the rest of their body, obviously.) Use this one with a video chat platform so you can see and hear each other or just get it on remotely.
Confide features end-to-end encryption, messages that disappear after being read or viewed once, and a screenshot prevention feature “on most platforms and configurations.” No matter what type of message you send — text, video, photo, or voice — you can be rest assured that it’s encrypted and safe from prying eyes.
In addition to encryption, messages that disappear after 24 hours (or immediately after they’re read — up to you), and notification if anyone takes a screenshot, Dust also gives you the ability to erase your messages off of someone else’s phone. It’s a great option for sexting with someone you’re casual with or if things go south with someone you were dating and you’d rather your ex didn't have that image anymore.
So there you have it! Great sexting apps with varying degrees of security, touch, and control. Which one are you going to choose to get closer to your long-distance love?