The Funniest Sex Toy Reviews From Lovehoney

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

If you ever have some time to spare (or, let's be real, have no time to spare but feel like wasting some anyway), reading product reviews is always an entertaining way to spend it. This is doubly true if you're reading sex toy reviews. Sex toys are already inherently comical, given all the things that can go wrong with them. Give them to some snarky reviewers, and be prepared to piss your pants.

A rep from the sex toy retailer Lovehoney tells Bustle that Lovehoney has the biggest database of sex toy reviews on the whole Internet, with over 200,000. Its staff members must be so entertained. Half its reviewers are ages 25-34, and they're surprisingly gender-balanced: six in 10 are women. Men write the most reviews in January, while women do in February, leading to the impression that people are eager to share their opinions on their holiday presents. The most frequently reviewed product on the site is the BASICS Slimline Butt Plug. Apparently, people have some strong opinions about anal stimulation (including but not limited to "way better than my other small plugs" and "it's absolutely not terrifying to look at").

But that's not even the best of it. Here are the most outrageous reviews the site has to offer. The next time you want to waste some time you don't have reading ridiculous reviews, you can thank me for these.