The wind reeks of Birkin bags and miniature horses, so you know what that means: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 8 is a day away. And as for the smell of diamonds and excess wafting through the air? That means Entertainment Tonight revealed the RHOBH Season 8 taglines. When the Beverly Hills edition of the Bravo franchise pulls up in a Rolls Royce on Tuesday, Dec. 19, the taglines below will be in tow.
Like bonkers dinner parties and delightful product launches, opening credits taglines really are an essential fixture of the franchise. Every season, the taglines change, but their role on the show stays the same: The quips are chances for Real Housewives to let the viewers at home know what they're bringing to the table that season. Some make clever references to things that’ve happened on the show already, others hint at what’s to come, and several weave their catchphrases into the script.
Of course, every now and again you’ll get a tagline that errs on the side of generic. (For example, please consider Lizzie Rovsek’s Real Housewives of Orange County Season 9 tagline: “Standing out is much more fun than fitting in.") But when a Real Housewives tagline is good, it is so good. And you better believe that the RHOBH Season 8 taglines are good. Let's get to the list.
Kyle Richards: “In This Town, Fame & Money Come & Go, But Friends Should Not."
Kyle sure loves to give “this town” a shoutout in her tagline. Hey, if it isn’t broken, why waste time fixing it when you could be practicing the splits instead? ... Oh, you're right. Kyle doesn't need to practice the splits. Like her RHOBH tagline, she's got that move down pat.
Erika Girardi: “Some People Call Me Cold, But That’s Not Ice. It’s Diamonds.”
Is... is she saying she's diamonds? Or is she calling her demeanor diamonds? Or is she just talking about the actual diamonds she wears? Or all of the above? Like an onion, this thing has layers. And like an onion, it stays with you for hours. (Wait, that’s not an onion. It’s diamonds.)
Dorit Kemsley: “I Believe In An Excess Of Everything… Except Moderation.”
This approach will probably backfire at some point, right? Like, what happens when she’s fueling her rose gold Bentley and the pump stops because her tank is full? Does she top it off for the sake of excess? That'd be something.
Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave: “Having The Best Isn’t Important To Me, But Being My Best Is.”
Well, that’s a nice sentiment. And a straightforward sentiment. Pretty stoked to get to know newcomer Teddi this season.
Lisa Rinna: “I Don’t Have To Buy It, ‘Cause I Already Own It.”
You did it. You really did it, Rinna. Just as Real Housewives of New York City’s Ramona Singer did with Season 6 tagline “Get the Pinot ready, because it’s Turtle Time,” you took your catchphrase and turned it into a snappy opening credits line. It's simple, it's funny, it's pithy, it rolls of the tongue. Gosh, this one is good.
Lisa Vanderpump: “The Queen Of Diamonds Always Has An Ace Up Her Sleeve.”
And by “ace,” she probably means “Pomeranian.” Or "swan." Or "miniature horse."
All in all, it's a pretty solid batch. As for the best of the RHOBH Season 8 taglines? Well, that honor has to go to either Lisa Rinna or Erika. Lisa Rinna delivered a clever tagline, Erika gave us a sparkling enigma wrapped in a riddle and cash.
Merry Beverly Hills-mas Eve. May visions of rosé-plums dance in your head.