The Real Reason Millennials Use Tinder? For A Confidence Boost, Survey Says
If you're on Tinder, what do you honestly use it for? Love? Sex? Friendship? Or maybe something else? LendEDU, a marketplace for student loan debt consolidation and refinancing, recently conducted a survey of 18 to 22-year-old college students to see what young Millennials are really using Tinder for. According to the survey, there's an overwhelming amount of people on the app who actually don't use it for finding love or hookups. So what are young people really using Tinder for?
To boost their self-esteem. LendEDU polled 9,761 current college students and found that 44 percent of them say they use Tinder for "confidence-boosting procrastination." That actually tops the amount who say they're just looking to hook up (22 percent) and those looking for a relationship (four percent).
According to Laurie Davis Edwards, founder of eFlirt, and author of Love @ First Click, this shouldn't come as a surprise. "There are definitely some people who are on dating apps just for a confidence boost," Edwards says. "Think about it: Tinder is really just a revamped "Hot or Not"— and that was all about getting a confidence boost through seeing your rating. These days, with updated technology, it feels good when people swipe right on you. This may be one of the reasons that you can match with many people but only message with a few."
But don't worry. If someone you matched with really is just in it for the confidence boost, Edwards says the digital connection you build likely won't be strong, because A.) You won't be compelled to meet up with them, or B.) If you do happen to get to that stage, they'll be hesitant to go out on a date. "You'll know if someone is a good match for you if you can first develop a rapport with them over text, and secondly if things move offline for a date," she says. "You should be able to accomplish both with the right person in about 20 texts total."
The survey also found that over 70 percent of Tinder users say they've never actually met someone from the app. Because of that, LendEDU concluded that Tinder might never be taken seriously as a place to find relationships like eHarmony or Match, despite Tinder saying otherwise.
The Online Dating Advice You Need
I know the numbers look bad. If you've ever been on Tinder or any other dating app, you might even agree with the findings. But as Edwards says, "There is no such thing as rejection online."
Many times people get discouraged because someone you matched with might not respond or they might even drop off the face of the earth after going back and forth a few times. While it might definitely feel like rejection, Edwards says it's cant possible be rejection because none of those people really know you, which means they also can't accept you. "Acceptance and rejection are opposites," she says. "If one doesn't exist, neither can the other."
So if you're online dating, remember to keep your expectations in check. Not everyone you match with is going to shoot you a message or respond to yours. And not everyone you actually talk to will ever meet up in person. It's just the nature of these things, so don't let it discourage you from trying again.