If you need a true internet love story, this meeting shows that second chances online are a thing — a very beautiful thing. How? Basically, Haley, 22, from Houston, Texas posted on Reddit a very... unique... question that she had been asked in a Tinder conversation, as well as her response.
The question was a tricky one. "You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the snail touches you," Walker asked her. "It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What's your plan?"
Now after clarifying a few details about the snail, Haley sent her answer. And she was not messing around. She went specific, she went deep, she went full financial planning from now until eternity.
"Okay, first I move to Hawaii," she replied. "Let's say the snail moves on average 0.03 mph. To move 1 mile, it takes him 33.3 hours. I'd move to Maui, which is 3,815 miles away. He would have to travel for 127,167 hours to reach me, or about 14.5 years. Seven years after moving to Maui, I'd move to Rome to ensure that he'd either have to travel the entire Pacific Ocean or turn around and travel back through the Panama Canal. I would continue calculating how long it takes him to where I move to, then I switch continents at the halfway point. This also prevents people noticing me not aging or getting sick."
Damn. But she wasn't done:
"Additionally, immediately invest 1/4 of the money, putting 1/2 in savings/safe bonds with high interest rates, and using 1/4 to live off initially, thereafter living off of dividends of my investments."
That is a lot of effort — and financial intelligence — packed into one message. I'm impressed. But, despite an amazing and hilarious answer, Walker unmatched her after that and their thread disappeared...whoops! But when she posted the exchange on Reddit, the original Walker Suddenly appeared again. He reached out.
That's right, he reappeared. More importantly, he noticed and admitted his mistake because, to be honest, who wouldn't want to get to know someone a bit better after a reply like that? That message was 100 percent goodness. So luckily, they had this chance to reconnect.
And soon, they were back in business.
So they made up — or at least started messaging, from the look of things — and of course, Reddit was all here for it. Users wanted to know what happened next and obviously came up with Internet-themed jokes for the two of them.
Although some were worried he was a fake... or even a decoy. I mean, what are the odds that he would find out about her Reddit post? So a lot of puns were had.
Some were still weirdly obsessed with the initial snail question. They were determined to get to the bottom of it because they thought that some of the details about a hypothetical question involving an immortal millionaire snail didn't seem quite realistic enough for them.
Like, really really into the snail question.
But overall, the people of Reddit seemed to feel that this was a match made in shell heaven.
See, getting unmatched on a dating app isn't the end of the world and — with the power of the internet — it's not even necessarily the end of that exchange. It's unclear if Walker and Haley will run off into the digital sunset together, but at least they got a second chance at a meaningful connection and a cunning plan to destroy a murderous millionaire snail.