This Messaging Trick From Tinder's Sociologist Will Help You Land More Dates
If you're looking for a summer fling or summer love, there's no reason that you can't use the OG of dating apps to get you there. Tinder has released some insider tips and tricks on what makes an effective first message, and it starts with being proactive. "How many times have you matched with someone you think you would really enjoy spending time with, simply to wait for them to start a conversation and it never happens," Tinder's in-house Sociologist, Dr. Jess Carbino said in a press release. "If they matched with you, they’re clearly interested in talking, but they may be busy or too shy to send the first message. Take a look at their pictures, bio, and profession, and ask them a question about their life. Showing initiative, interest, and investment is always appealing. No more missed connections! And to the men looking for women out there — women are 25 percent more likely to prefer men to message first, so send her a question and get the conversation going!"
But if you're nervous about sending that first message, I get it. It can be difficult to know what to say. Luckily, Tinder has broken down what actually works. Here's what they found:
1. Ask A Question And Show Interest
Asking a question is always a good bet, as it prompts a response, and 31 percent of men and women said they preferred it. But even better is showing that you're really interested in getting to know them — over 60 percent of users look for that. So pick up on some details from their profiles and ask about them.
2. Say It With A GIF
You're 30 percent more likely to get a response — and your conversations are more likely to last longer. They really do work as ice breakers.
Conversation has gone cold? Don't panic. "An important strategy to use when the message trail has gone cold is re-engagement," Carbino said. "At times, people with whom you are corresponding are busy and they may have not responded because of their schedules. By sending a brief text to re-engage and follow up, you can keep the conversation going. This also helps establish investment."
4. For The Love Of God, Don't Just Say "Hey"
Don't want you to stand out from the crowd a little bit? You'd be amazed at how many people are still whipping out that old opening line. "Nearly 20 percent of men and women admit that they always send a generic greeting as their opening line," Carbino says. "We also know that 20 percent of opening lines on Tinder begin with 'Hey.' If you want to break out from the crowd, send something more interesting!"
Seriously — anything is more interesting.
5. Fill Out The "About Me"
You should definitely fill out your "about me", it leads to better messaging. Plus, don't you want to show that there's something more to you than just a pretty face?
6. Make Your Profile Work For You
More than just filling it out, having a unique bio makes messaging easier. " Include information in your profile that allows you to appear original," Carbino said. "For example, a photograph of a man surfing in Los Angeles is fairly common and does not allow users to understand how you differ from the 60 other men in your area that have photos of themselves surfing. Around 20 percent of men and women prefer to send an observation about a person as their opening line, so give them something to talk about!"
7. Make 'Em Laugh
Tried and true — laughter is always a turn-on. 11 percent of men and 7.5 percent of women like it if you make them laugh in the opening line, so don't be afraid to crack 'em up.
Messaging someone on Tinder doesn't have to be a scary proposition. With the right bio and a strong opener, it'll all flow from there. And then there's a summer romance in your sights.