Are you always hearing that you could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship? How often do you hear the nitty gritty can actually help you better understand your deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Curious, I spoke to Vanessa Marin, sex therapist, to help me fill out the details. Today's topic? How to up your sexting games, including 50 example sexting ideas you can use right now.
According to a 2017 study published in Computers in Human Behavior, 62% of college students surveyed said they have either sent a sext or received one. About half of those people shared that it had a positive impact on their sexual or emotional relationships — and that was especially true for those in more committed relationships. Despite its popularity, however, you certainly aren't the only one who has questions about sexting and what it might mean for your relationship. “Sexual communication is just one of the many facets of life that has been affected by technology,” Michelle Drouin, one of the study's authors, told PsyPost. “Unfortunately, the technology changes more quickly than we can study its effects, which means that the field is always vast, and the questions are always many.” That said, if one of your burning questions about sexting is simply where to begin, look no further.
If your partner likes sending naughty text messages and emails, you've never done this with another partner, or you feel like you're horrible at it, it's natural to wonder: How do I sext? Do you have any sexting example ideas I can use to start me off?
Shy and uncreative texters, rejoice: I’m sharing 50 examples of sexy messages you can send to your partner right now! The examples are broken down by category; you can also use the categories to help you think of further examples. Dirty talk is very personal, so you’re not going to love every idea on this list. Fortunately, I’ve got you covered with ways to tailor these examples to suit your relationship.
Sext Type #1: Previews
I want you to lie back and let me take care of you tonight.
I’m going to ravage you the second you get in the door.
I’m going to let you do anything you want to me.
I’ve got a surprise waiting for you.
I’m going to make you beg for it.
I’m going to make you come so hard.
My clothes are coming off the second you get home.
Sext Type #2: Requests
I want you.
Tell me what you think about when you masturbate.
I want you to kiss/touch my [pick a body part].
I need you inside of me right now.
I want you to make you come.
I want you to tease me until I can’t take it any longer.
Put it in my mouth.
Let me take control tonight.
Get over here right now.
I want you to be really rough.
Sext Type #3: Things You Like To Fantasize About
I’m picturing you and me with another person.
I love thinking about you spanking me and pulling my hair.
It’s so hot to imagine you tying me up.
I’ve been bad and I need someone to punish me.
That scene from [movie/TV show] was so hot.
I like thinking about you touching yourself.
I read this article about anal today, and it got me thinking.
Sext Type #4: Teasing
I’m touching myself right now thinking about you.
It’s too bad you’re not here right now.
I’m not going to let you come until you beg me for permission.
I’m so wet right now.
I had such a good dream about you last night.
I thought of something I want to do to you tonight.
I just got out of the shower.
I’m too busy tonight. You can’t have me until tomorrow.
Sext Type #5: Past Memories
I miss feeling you inside of me.
Remember that time we did [fill in the blank]?
I can’t get last night out of my mind.
I want you to do exactly what you did last time we [fill in the blank].
I can’t imagine ever coming as hard as I did when you [fill in the blank].
Sext Type #6: Compliments
You always feel so good inside of me.
I love staring at your [fill in the blank].
You make me so wet.
I love the way you make me feel.
I’ve never felt as attracted to anyone else as I am to you.
I can’t control myself when I’m near you.
The anticipation is killing me.
I can’t get enough of you.
Sext Type #7: When You Need To Respond But Can’t Think Of Anything To Say
That turns me on so much.
What else will you do to me?
What are you wearing right now?
Tell me more.
I love when you talk like that.
Your messages have me so distracted.
When you’re sexting, use the words you and your partner typically use for your body parts. For example, you might feel way more comfortable using “dick” than “cock”.
Incorporate any inside jokes or personal memories that the two of you have. One of the easiest ways to start dirty talking is to simply rehash one of your favorite sexual memories (of the two of you together, to start anyway). You won’t get stuck trying to come up with things to say because you have the full memory already.
Adjust your level of explicitness. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be triple-X to be sexy. Sometimes being less explicit can actually be more of a tease. For example, “wait until you see what I’ve got on underneath my work clothes,” may be all you need to get their imagination going.
Drouin, M., Coupe, M., & Temple, J. R. (2017). Is sexting good for your relationship? It depends …. Computers in Human Behavior, 75, 749–756. doi: 10.1016/j.chb.2017.06.018
Vanessa Marin, sex therapist
This article was originally published on Dec. 29, 2015