Life

This Cozy Blanket Will Turn You Into A Giant Pizza

by Lea Rose Emery
Updated: 
Originally Published: 
Gourmet Blankets
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With chilly nights approaching, you may be wondering how you're going to stay warm and cozy all winter long. Yes, you may drink your weight in hot chocolate. Yes, you may bulk buy so much Halloween candy you can keep munching all winter long. You may watch every Hallmark holiday movie 10-15 times, until your brain turns into cotton candy. But now, there's another way — a way that will combine with all your hot chocolate-drinking, candy-eating, movie-watching dreams. This fleece pizza blanket is what winter dreams are made of and, even better, it's on sale. This design wonder comes from Gourmet Blankets which is, FYI, my favorite website name of all time.

"Incredibly soft and warm fleece to keep you and your loved ones snugged and extra cozy on a chilly night as you wrap yourself and others up by the fireplace to watch some TV, or this blanket can be taken to a whole another level by spreading the blanket outside on the ground for a perfect cool sitting mat or picnic," the description explains.

It comes with a diameter of 140 centimeters (or about 55 inches), so you'll be able to curl up with a loved one ... or a pile of candy. And if you're not interested in the pizza option — which is hard to imagine, but people can be strange — then there are delicious-looking donut and burger versions that will keep you just as warm. Normally it retails for around $60, but it's on sale now for just $29.99.

The choice is your — or you can stock up on all three and feel like you're throwing yourself an epic dinner party. How can you use these blankets? Well, one of the photos on the website features a baby wrapped up in a pizza blanket. Just saying.

There are few foods that bring as much universal joy as pizza manages to do — even just the smell of pizza can make you happy, so there's a pretty good reason people love it so darn much. But the happiness that it brings to the masses also means that you can get pizza in so many shapes and forms.

In fact, a pizza blanket is just the tip of the pizza iceberg. There are special pizza boxes specifically designed to help you eat pizza in bed. There are pizza wedding bouquets — which makes me so happy that I don't even have the words to express it. There was even briefly a pizza-pancake hybrid from IHOP, known as the "Pancizza." Seriously, pizza inspires us, emboldens us, and encourages us to take risks and imagine it in more and more beautiful forms. Even if you choose to put mango on pizza, which is still an idea I'm trying to wrap my head around, you can — pizza is yours, to do whatever you want with.

So really, is there anything better to keep you warm and cozy as fall starts to settle in? I doubt it. Let the fleece pizza blanket cradle you, like the firm and gentle hands of a lover. Imagine yourself as the perfect holy trinity of dough, sauce, and cheese. Float into oblivion and, obviously, make sure to eat some pizza while you do it. You deserve the meta-pizza experience.

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