I know that one-word answers have been the bane of many of my friend's lives on Tinder and I certainly have rolled my eyes at many messages just reading "hey". So it's not a surprise that a major texting pet peeve for many — just texting "OK" as a reply — is playing out in a massive Twitter drama right now.
Basically, a woman that Twitter user @OfficialDeTroyt had been seeing texted him and asked him to dinner and he replied saying that he would go. Well, sort of. It was a morning text message and, he argued, he replied with one eye open and only sent "OK". The woman in question then rescinded the offer and made it very clear that she was annoyed by his lack of enthusiasm.
Is replying with just "OK" actually that rude? The internet is totally divided over this. While a lot of people tweeted that they would have been annoyed and cancelled the date too, others were quick to point out that many people are aren't loquacious first thing in the morning, so maybe we should cut him some slack.
Take a look at the message exchange and see what you think. Was it too harsh or NBD for early in the morning?
First off, this exchange deserves an award for being the most times the word "OK" has been used in quick succession. Honestly, it makes sense from both sides — maybe her canceling the date is over-the-top and he probably should have made a little more effort to be enthusiastic. But the thing is, it's totally is normal to have your guard up when you're early in a relationship.
"It’s my hunch that this is a relatively new couple and she’s still being hyper vigilant about trying to figure out how enthused he is about dating her," relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, tells Bustle. "I actually do understand why his 'OK' was sort of an underwhelming response!"
Twitter was totally divided over this. People around the world gave their two cents — and there were a two different camps.
The People On Team "OK" Early In The Morning
There were definitely some people who aren't bright and perky first thing in the morning and understood why someone might not be at their most thoughtful, sending a message in the a.m..
The People Who Weren't Buying It
Other people didn't think that the early morning wakeup was a valid excuse. They thought that response was just not good enough — or straight-up rude.
The Bottom Line:
A lot of Twitter users got into a conversation about how people should match enthusiasm levels in the beginning of a relationship. Early in a relationship, you want someone to feel excited. And if they don't do that, then you may feel like something's missing. But, if it's not there, you just can't force it. Maybe this instance is a sign of a bigger incompatibility.
There's a good chance it struck a nerve because other people have been there, but we also don't know what goes on between two people privately. "We as a society also have to be careful about reacting to such a small snapshot of someone’s life," Hartstein says. "We have no idea about what the rest of their interactions and relationship is really like. She may have reason to suspect he’s not that interested in her and the 'OK' was underscoring that. Or he may actually be very interested and attentive and the 'OK' didn’t mean anything at all. But the fact that the internet went a bit [wild] suggests that a lot of people are having similar issues or exchanges in their relationships!" I've gotten text messages that would look totally innocent if you didn't know any better but, in context, say a whole lot, so it's definitely something to consider.
Text messages are not always the ideal form of communication — tone, context, and attitude are often missed. One thing this internet circus shows is that we have very strong feelings about communication styles. And maybe that's because we struggle with this in our own lives.