This Woman Asked Complete Strangers For Advice After Her Boyfriend Cheated & It's Cathartic
Being cheated on is an awful feeling — at least in my experience it was. And people have a lot of different ways of coping. You may need to rethink your relationship and, rebuild trust, and in some cases, rebuild your confidence. “Discovering your partner has been unfaithful is a terrible blow — it changes your whole set of expectations and beliefs about your relationship,” Tina B. Tessina, PhD (aka "Dr. Romance"), psychotherapist, and author of The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart, tells Bustle. “Suddenly, you have a whole set of questions you may not have ever thought of before. Why didn't I know? Did my partner ever love me? How can I ever trust my partner again? Can our relationship survive this?”
But once you decide what to do with your relationship, you need to figure out how you can move on — and that's no easy feat. But here is someone tackling the issue in a totally different way. Comedian Catharine Savage took to the streets in a new video called "CHICAGO THERAPY: “Help! My boyfriend cheated on me!”. Basically, after finding out that her boyfriend had been cheating, she wanted to find a way to move on. But, as she says, therapy is expensive. So why not find another way to get that catharsis?
"I wanted to combat that stigma and just call it out publicly."
"I think so often there is shame around being cheated on, and I for sure felt the temptation to hide in a state of humiliation," Savage tells Bustle. "So I wanted to combat that stigma and just call it out publicly. It's such a common experience and I figured that if I just talked to people I would feel a little more back to normal and might even get some good advice from people who have been through something similar."
And the way she chose to move on was asking the people of Chicago for advice on how to get over being cheated on in a video (You can can check out the full video here). And there answers were... well, let's call them a mixed bag.
Here's what the people of Chicago had to say.
This Is Catharine
Catharine Just learned that her boyfriend cheated on her. He cheated on her for two years. Let that sink in for a minute. "I'm ready to move on and heal," she says. "But therapy is expensive." Damn right it is.
"Oh, I Found Out."
Did the boyfriend tell her? Nope, she found out. "That's not good," this man says. And he is correct. It's way worse stumbling across it than someone fessing up.
"Cheat On Him With His Brother And His Best Friend"
The "don't get mad, get even" was a strategy that a lot of people suggested, though this dude was probably the coldest of all. He was basically like, just have sex with everyone he cares about. Welp, that's one way to do it.
53 Years Of Bliss
This man also suggested that she does some cheating, but he's been married for 53 years. That is the face of the happiest married man in the world, what does he know about cheating? Be quiet, you beautiful fool.
A whole lot people just straight up ignored her. I wouldn't expect anything else.
This horse gave no advice — except how to rock a rainbow feather in the middle of the day.
The Grandma You Wish You Had
She just wants you to get some counseling and to tell you about her 60-year marriage to Al. That's all she wants. And it's bloody lovely.
The Man Who Wants To Lend A Hand
He thinks he has all the answers. In fact, he may think he is all the answers.
This Kinky Couple
They're really into "keeping it new". Like really, really into it.
A Thoughtful Fella
"Find somebody special who's gonna treat you right" — it's the best advice all day.
... a lengthy rendition of "Let It Go", which probably does have some bearing on the situation at hand, but I have a sneaking suspicion these children will have sung it no matter what.
Getting cheated on is just pretty crappy. Do whatever it takes to move on. Maybe that's going to therapy, maybe it's being kind to yourself, or maybe it's walking up to dozens of strangers on the streets of a major city. I'm not hear to judge.
So after all this, what does Savage think? "You have to shower yourself in love," she says. "You have to wake up every morning and remind yourself that you're awesome and why you're awesome. I also leaned on my friends and family a lot... I think it's important to remember that one relationship does not define you and does not reflect your ability to be loved or cared for. I reminded myself everyday that I have so many other people in my life who care about me and truly love me." Do what you have to, folks— and you'll being moving on, in your own time.
You can check out the full video here.