Trump Is Ruining My Sex Life, Because I'm Not Horny, I'm Angry

"Can I sue the GOP for destroying my libido?" I asked my boyfriend in the lobby of the Bowery Hotel in New York City. I looked at him, completely serious. I do not mess around about Trump. Could I sue the GOP for screwing up my libido?

My partner looked puzzled, laughed, and continued to eat his fruit and yogurt. Now, I know I’m not alone in feeling like Trump's America is ruining my sex life. Many of girlfriends, writer friends, and colleagues have echoed similar sentiments.

In one parallel case, a single friend of mine told me she’s a doing a lot of “anger-f*cking,” but as for the rest of my circle, having sex has been last on their list of priorities.

“Trump's celebration of misogyny makes me want to hit the gym more than I want to hit on men, and building an army of one leaves little time for guys," says Daria Tavana, a Development Associate at The Opportunity Agenda, tells Bustle. "I'm emotionally alienated by this administration's fear-based rhetoric.”

Source: beth on Twitter

According to a survey from Kindara, 19 percent of women who identify as Democrats say the stress of this sh*tshow of an election has hampered their sex lives. The American Psychological Association found the 52 percent of people site the election as a major source of stress in their lives, overall.

As many know, stress does not make us want to get down and dirty. Just check out the stats.

It’s Hard To Be Sexually Attracted To The Group Of People Who Are Trying To Dismantle Your Rights

Look, I know it’s harsh, but I think it’s kind of hard for me (and a lot of heterosexual women) to get wet for dudes when we’re simultaneously drowning in a culture that consistently proves that it hates women.

I still have sexual urges, but I feel no desire to quell them with the men around me.

Gabrielle Pedriani, a PR executive in NYC tells Bustle, “I'm really struggling to drum up any semblance of attraction for men as an entire sex. White men specifically. It's true, I live in NYC, so there are some legitimately good guys here who have their acts together — but in general, it's been tough to feel drawn to a sex that has reacted so poorly to so many current issues and just generally adopted a role of judgmental privilege during this entire national saga. This whole sisterhood movement rapidly growing has made me feel almost related to half of our country, and simultaneously foreign from the rest. I still have sexual urges, but I feel no desire to quell them with the men around me.”

I know, I know. Don’t blame all for the sins of the “few,” but look at this situation through an alternative lens: If Hillary Clinton were in office, and made it illegal to ejaculate without the intent to conceive a child, and women everywhere didn’t think this was a big deal, would you be down to bang those women?

"Any time our environment is saturated with negative, toxic energy, it's going to impact everyone in the country," Dr. Laura Berman, sex therapist and author of new self-help book Quantum Love, tells Bustle. "Energy doesn't exist in a vacuum. Not only do we have the toxic energy left behind from a intense primary where extremely divisive comments were made by the President, but we also have the energy of rage, hatred and fear felt by those who didn't vote Trump."

The Feeling Inspired In Protest Is A Traditionally Masculine Energy

Sex-tech entrepreneur and founder of House of Plume, Lidia Bonilla, sat on a panel with me for a live recording and expert discussion on the Future of Sex. Of course, the current political climate could not go uncached when sitting in a room full of kickass boss ladies with high-stake agendas.

Bonilla said the power that comes with protest is a masculine energy. When we're riled up, fighting for what we believe, and kicking some serious ass, we don’t feel classically feminine.

"Women are scared right now, and for good reason," Dr. Berman says. "They might choose to exorcise that fear by trying to "reclaim" power in the bedroom, by experimenting sexually or trying sexual acts they might not have considered before. As a kind of "eff you" to the conservatives in power. Or perhaps they will shut down and grow cold towards strangers, especially strange men. I've had women tell me that they looked suspiciously around their community after the election, thinking "Did you vote for him?" All of this is going to have impact on how we relate to people, both inside and outside the bedroom."

For plenty of women (not all, of course), protest and anger at the regime and injustice around us does not make us want to go home, put on some sexy lingerie, and seduce our partners. I hate to parade the ridiculous trope of “angry, man-hating women,” but I’m not horny. I’m f*cking angry. I am allowed to be angry.

It's Putting Things Into Perspective

You know what the clincher really is? There's no longer any time to even think about settling for passive, unaware, ignorant partners anymore. From what I've seen personally, men don't seem to care. It's hard to understand something that doesn't directly affect you.

“This is the first time many female Millennials have stepped outside their comfort zones to vocalize their struggle and gain an increased sense of self-worth." Tavana says. “When we start to expect more from ourselves and from society, we start to raise the bar for what we seek in a partner. Empowered women empower women, and we are finally encouraging and supporting one another to set high standards when it comes to sex and relationships.”

We are finally coming together as a female collective to fight this patriarchal nightmare and I think I and many others are realizing that ignorant men don’t make smart, progressive women horny.

Now, where are the woke men?

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