If you have a knack for stringing words together like pearls on silk string, polish up your resume because there's a dream job out there for you: Twitter is hiring a "Tweeter in Chief," and if you're good at the social media-ing, you and your thumbs could be the perfect fit for this opportunity. Yes, your career could be to tweet! And your handle would be @Twitter! It's, as the job description details, "no big deal."
The job would require the Tweeter in Chief operate out of any of the companies U.S.-based offices, which are currently operating in San Francisco, New York City, Chicago, Miami, Seattle, Boston, Detroit, Boulder, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., and Atlanta. Not too bad, huh?
So, what's the job like? Let's hypothetically say you've got this dream position at one of the largest social media platforms in the world and you've moved into your new metropolitan digs. Well, a lot happens on Twitter. Breaking news, culture and topics that quickly become internationally #trending swirl into relevance every single second. And, according to the job description, "you’ll be writing the Tweets for @Twitter, setting the editorial direction and leading a team of incredible community managers. So every day you’ll be reacting to culture, as it happens."
Again, no biggie. You should be plugged in. At least, familiar with "Twitter culture, stan culture, and culture in general," as the job description continues. After all, you will embody @Twitter — and become the voice of the platform.
That means ~interacting~ with and building communities that live online. You'll spread content like room-temperature butter on a toasted bagel, retweeting and replying to users. And according to Omnicore, as of 2018, there were 326 million active Twitter users monthly. So, like, you should definitely be a people person. Twitter, after all, is known for hosting "unique conversations" and the "Tweeter in Chief" will have the responsibility to "elevate" and "thank" Twitter users as well as "spark conversations."
If your thumbs are ready to go and you already have an arsenal of GIFs just waiting for the right content, get to applying! You'll want to upload your resume and a probably witty, sharp cover letter to catch Twitter Human Resource's attention. And don't forget to flaunt your tweets. Twitter is looking for someone passionate about the platform's "purpose and story." If that's been you since there were only 140 characters allowed to express yourself, I think you need to open the application immediately.
Your encyclopedic knowledge of hashtags can finally come in handy with the "Tweeter in Chief" position. Hashtag away to #Twitter communities and chime in on #WednesdayWisdom with tweets such as "Liking your own Tweets is self-care." The current @Twitter also retweets users who create memes about their love of tweeting and their constant use of Twitter. In other words, it's a dream.
Reader, life happens on Twitter. Information circulates. Art is created. And now one very lucky person can be at the forefront of that as Twitter's "Tweeter in Chief." Do I want it? Sure. Do I think you'll be better at it? Sure do. Press your pantsuit and go forth into the Twitterverse to make your dream job a reality. Good luck!