An Unofficial Guide To Not Losing On 'The Bachelor,’ By Carly & Evan

Over the course of Nick Viall's season of The Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise couple Carly Waddell and Evan Bass will contribute weekly articles to Bustle about their friend's journey to find love. Read their take on Corinne's actions and more below.

Evan

I’m not sure how many more 'To Be Continued..." episodes Bachelor Nation can take. Sooner or later an episode needs to end with some resolution so the rosé in our stomachs can settle and WE CAN GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. It has been interesting watching the “game” of love play out as we get deeper into the season, though. Some are playing it well, while others are being overtaken by the heavy flow of The Bachelor’s cleansing tide. There's a right way to play The Bachelor (which Carly will get into later), but unfortunately some people just don't get it.

Episode Misses:

Sarah: A rose ceremony eliminated contestant who seemed very well loved by fans. I think she’s got a date with Paradise.

Astrid: Another rose ceremony send-off. We didn’t get to know too much about her, so it’s hard to have a connection point beyond the Carl Lewis track date.

Taylor: She’s a mental health counselor but unfortunately no one told her that you have to leave all sanity at the door for the first several weeks of The Bachelor. Master’s degrees too.

Whitney: Yeah, she got a rose, but can she speak?! Will she speak?! What is her life’s purpose? Please just give us anything, Whitney!

Episode Winners:

Rachel: She seems like a boss and appears to be in control of her feelings, which is rare. We watched Rachel give advice to Sarah, which is a great sign for someone either to win Nick’s heart or win the next Bachelorette gig.

Nick: He seemed composed and measured. He is really growing into his role as the Bachelor.

Corinne: In a rare surprise this season, she became the aggressor and took the Taylor feud to the next level by calling Taylor out. She played the game and played it well.

Taylor: Despite Nick saying “Ba-you” (see what I did there?), she is conjuring herself one more (at least) episode. It’s a clever twist since they are in New Orleans and the women spent a lot of the episode messing with a Ouija board. Can’t wait to see what she’s got up her sleeve next week.

Frontrunners:

Rachel, Vanessa, and Corinne who keeps sticking around.

Way-Too-Early Paradise Cast Predictions:

Assuming they don’t take the final rose, of course, I predict Corinne, Sarah, Liz, Danielle L., Kristina, and Astrid will be invited.

Now on to Carly’s rules for Bachelor contestants from someone who has been there, done that.

Carly

Don’t Share Your Secrets Too Soon

A few episodes ago, Liz revealed very quickly that she knew Nick before the show, and was sent home quickly. If you have something juicy, saveeeeee it. No matter how hard it is to do, keep it to yourself until five or six weeks in when everyone is ready to hear the truth. (Evan’s Note: Past relationships are OK to talk about — JUST NOT IF THEY WERE WITH THE CURRENT BACHELOR.)

Choose Your “I Love You” Very Carefully

On Monday night, Raven made the bold choice to share that she is in love with Nick. And, then she didn’t get the group date rose, which really bummed her out. It will be interesting to see how this will play out since Nick didn’t really reciprocate, but he clearly likes her. (Evan’s Note: Towards the end of Paradise, Carly and I kept getting “interrupted” by anyone and everyone whenever we were having deep and intimate conversations. It seemed that they wanted us to save our first I love you for a special time, which of course we did… in the Fantasy Suite.)

Be As Entertaining As Possible

We haven’t seen much of Dolphin-Shark loving and Nic Cage hating Alexis, but damn is she freaking hysterical when she’s on the screen. She’s a true small screen reality gem. I loved to make jokes on my season, and, while I had no real chemistry with Chris Soules, my humor took me a long way.

Don’t Overanalyze

It’s completely natural to overthink every decision, but if you use the aforementioned guidelines you really can be yourself and have fun. Taylor’s Achilles' heel was being a mental health counselor and having the abilities to work with Corinne, but she didn’t have a willing patient. She could’ve "diagnosed" Corinne from afar without engaging the bouncy house princess who apparently has the power of Elsa from Frozen and uses it to ice the competition. People are weird. People do weird things on TV in pressure situations. And, we can’t judge them for that.

GIPHY

Limit How Much You Talk About Others To The Bachelor

Yes, you will invariably get dragged into unnecessary drama, but take Rachel as an example, she has risen above the drama. She addressed it, but she gives perspective rather than judgments. (Evan’s Note: Throw this one out the door if you want to make a desperate play for Bachelor in Paradise, hehe.)

Of course, even with all of this — rules are made to be broken. Everyone's different. And, we wouldn't have a show if people didn't break the rules. Even last night, Nick told Rachel he was really into her like he was breaking some holy vow — but, in reality, the show encourages you to be yourself with producers often saying, "You do you." Nick opening up a bit was nice to see, and, honestly, it seemed like he had the most fun he's had all season with Rachel. And, love is why we are all here in the first place, so... you do you.