While masturbation certainly involves a highly physical aspect — we heighten the sensations of our bodies — our imagination is also crucial to stimulating our mind and body. By tapping into the nuances and expansive boundaries of our imagination, we awaken our senses. What we think about when we masturbate is unique to our innermost needs, desires, and experiences. "Get your brain on board with masturbation and your body will thank you," Emily Morse, Doctor of Human Sexuality and host of the Sex With Emily podcast, tells Bustle. "Remember that arousal starts in your head and works its way down. If your mind is good and turned on, it won’t be long until the rest of your body follows suit. To get that big sexy brain on board, start exploring your fantasies and finding new mental triggers that can fuel your self-love sessions."
What we think about during masturbation may constitute a fantasy that we wouldn't dare utter to anyone else. It may let us wander freely and shamelessly into the deepest corners of our mind.
During my acts of self-love, what I think about typically fantasize about my oral fixation. As I close my eyes and engage in my own self-exploration, I fantasize about giving a blow job. I revel in the sensuous juxtaposition of being submissive and also holding my partner's pleasure at my control.
I spoke with 13 women to hear what flows through their mind while they masturbate. Here's what they said:
"Getting f*cked hard and deep by a big dick."
"Getting f*cked from behind while my hands are tied behind my back and he's pushing my face down."
"My most intense BDSM experience. I relive the feeling of going into sub space."
"I think of my boyfriend coming inside me."
"I always think of whoever my crush is at the time."
"I imagine that someone is watching and I'm putting on a show for them."
"I have male roommates and I get off on the idea that they can hear my vibrator and my moans. I love being a tease."
"A girl with a big ass riding my face."
"Having rough anal sex."
"Getting f*cked from the side while I'm looking my boyfriend in the eyes. I get off on the passion and the submission."
"Having a threesome with two other women, taking turns eating each other out."
"Generally if I am masturbating, I'm reading, so I'm imagining whats going on the erotica."
However taboo they may be in the eyes of our society, our fantasies are nuanced and a part of ourselves and we should fully embrace them. Giving ourselves the freedom to discover and push the boundaries of our mind is integral in fully exploring our pleasure and the beautiful complexity of our sexuality. Your mind is your private getaway.