Perhaps unsurprisingly, tons of states ask the oracle of the internet about food — specifically either where to eat on Valentine's Day, or what to cook for it. Virginia, for example, wants to know what fondue restaurant The Melting Pot is up to on Feb. 14., while the state of Oregon spent their search time looking for cheese fondue recipes. Similarly, New Mexico and Ohio are apparently planning on taking their dates to Red Lobster on Valentine’s Day, while Montana and Alaska want to know how to cook lobster tail or just what a good lobster recipe might be, respectively. For those who prefer a turf over surf, South Dakota and Maryland searched for Outback menu, Iowa and Indiana for Texas Roadhouse, and Georgia for Longhorn Steakhouse — but in Alabama, searches for filet mignon recipe reveal a desire to make the steak at home.

Michigan, meanwhile, wants to know where to get a heart-shaped pizza. Hawaii wants some info on “seafood near me.” In North Carolina, Golden Corral prices are the name of the game. And Kentucky just wants to know about what Valentine’s Day deals are available this year.

Honestly, there are enough searches about dessert to warrant a separate category. In Washington state, folks want to know where their nearest chocolate shops are, while New Hampshire is curious about Lindt chocolate. Colorado is into Russell Stover; Vermont is looking into Ben & Jerry’s (naturally); and a lot of folks want to order from Edible Arrangements: Connecticut, New York, and Pennsylvania all searched for the fruit-filled bouquet company. Looks like someone’s in for a tasty Valentine’s Day.

Also, Illinois and Louisiana are apparently going to their friendly neighborhood Hooters locations this year. I mean… sure. Just, y’know, be nice to your servers. They're at work, after all, and waiting tables is not easy. Especially on holidays.

Cards are big in a lot of places, of course, though the angle varies from state to state. Minnesota wants to know how to send Hallmark eCards, for example; similarly, North Dakota is interested in free eCards, while Nebraska just wants to know where to find free Valentine’s cards. Massachusetts and Wisconsin, though, have upped the ante a bit: Their searches are for dirty Valentines, specifically.

Also, uh, West Virginia is searching for Trump Valentines. Are you OK, West Virginia?

Whether you’re planning on writing them in your card, in an actual letter, or as a social media caption (hi there, Instagram), words of wisdom and pieces of poetry loom large at this time of year. Missouri, Oklahoma, and South Carolina all keep things broad, searching simply for poetry; others, however, get a little more specific with their queries: Mississippi is on the prowl for quotes about love, while New Jersey is intent on digging up some Valentine’s Day quotes. Texas, interestingly, somehow manages to combine both Massachusetts’ and Wisconsin’s interests with the great poetry search: It seems that Texans are into dirty Valentine’s poems.

Personally, I probably would not want to be on a dating app or site on Valentine’s Day (too much pressure!) — but then again, I always found dating itself to be enormously stressful and not much fun, so maybe that’s just me. Three states, at least, think Feb. 14 is a great time to look for a date: Wyoming is swiping right on Tinder; Idaho is giving Bumble a shot; and Delaware is logging onto eHarmony.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, grooming-related searches see a bit of a spike on Valentine’s Day in some areas. Nevada wants to know where to get a good Brazilian blowout, while Utah is curious about where to go for Brazilian waxing. Arkansas, meanwhile, is brushing up on their Valentine’s Day makeup skills.

Not into Valentine’s Day? Neither is California or Florida; they’re looking up info about Friendship Day. Rhode Island would rather be celebrating Steak & BJ Day. And Maine just wants to watch The Bachelor. You’re in good company, is what I’m saying.

I mean, to be fair, your health matters regardless as to what day it is, right? What’s more, the specific health-related searches that kick up on Valentine’s Day tend to be thematically relevant: Kansas wants to know if broken heart syndrome is a real thing (it is) — and both Arizona and Tennessee are looking into venereal disease.

Not going to lie: I’m curious about how old the median ages are in Arizona and Tennessee, largely because “venereal disease” hasn’t been the preferred term for STIs for a few decades. Either way, though, here’s your reminder to use protection, get tested regularly, and be safe while you’re having fun.

To check out the full map, head here. Search wisely and search well, my friends.