What These 7 Common Personality Traits Say About Your Love Life
Having certain personality traits can reveal a lot about how we would react in specific situations, especially in regards to how we act with others. When it comes to personality traits and relationships, there are a number of characteristics that can predict things about your love life, as our personalities tend to dictate a lot of how we manager interpersonal relationships. Although not everyone with the same personality traits will necessarily tend to follow the same path, having certain traits can often lead to common strengths and weaknesses when it comes to love and dating.
"We all have things about us and personality traits that we can work on," relationship expert and psychotherapist Kelly Bos, MSW, RSW tells Bustle. "Relationships can sometimes highlight areas in which we can grow. When we are on our own, we don't necessarily know that we are a bit controlling with money or that we have some selfish traits, because it is only us. The toothpaste squeezed or rolled is never challenged. The good news is that we can use relationships like a mirror to learn about ourselves, make positive changes, and grow."
Here are seven personality traits and what they can predict about your love life, according to experts.
1. If You Are Anxious, You Might Try To Find Things That Aren't Working In A Relationship
"If someone is anxious, then they will be more likely to find things that aren't working in their relationship because their brain will be constantly scanning the environment for 'threats,'" sex and relationship therapist Jeanette Tolson, LCSW, CASAC tells Bustle. "For example, if their partner had a bad day and isn't talking much, the anxious partner may find themselves thinking of reasons their partner is upset with them." If you are an anxious person, with some practice, you can begin to notice these thoughts and come up with alternative thoughts to counteract the anxiety, she suggests. Sharing some of your worries with your partner, and working through navigating them together is a good place to start.
2. If You Are Emotionally Detached, You Might Struggle With Vulnerability And Connection
If someone is detached emotionally, they will be more likely to struggle with vulnerability and connection in their relationship. "They might find after several years that they feel more like a roommate than a partner to their significant other," says Tolson. "This person might not realize that their detachment is part of the relationship struggle and may find fault in their partner in an effort to explain the situation." But of course, this isn't the case with everyone, and those who might be emotionally detached can learn to work on this trait by slowly opening up to their partner and working through any fears with a loved one or therapist.
3. If You Are A People Pleaser, You May End Up In A Codependent Relationship
People pleasers don't want people to feel uncomfortable, but this could have a negative effect on your love life. "You can predict a pleaser may end up in codependent or enabling relationships where they do more and the other person shirks responsibility," therapist Carrie Krawiec, LMFT tells Bustle. "The pleaser doesn’t want any one else to feel put out or overwhelmed." While it is important to make sacrifices in relationships, if someone is a people pleaser and constantly giving of themselves, it is important that they learn to say no in certain circumstances, and avoid partners that would take advantage of their giving nature.
4. If You Are A Perfectionist, You Might Have Unreasonable Expectations
Being an overachiever or perfectionist in other areas can be beneficial, but it can cause harm in your relationships. "In relationships, this person may have unreasonable expectations and can leave their partner feeling not good enough," says Krawiec. Not all perfectionists will hold their partners to higher standards, but if this is the case, they must learn not to try and fix their partner, but instead focus on all of the positive qualities they bring to the table.
5. If You Are An Introvert, You Might Experience More Frequent Misunderstandings
While not all introverts will struggle in romantic relationships, some may have difficulty being understood by their partner because they have a hard time expressing themselves outwardly. "An introvert ... may lack feelings of closeness because they do not put their feelings out in the open," says Krawiec. "Frequent misunderstandings can occur because of an unfair expectation of mind reading. Partners of introverts can feel judged or rejected." Although it may be a challenge initially, if this is something an introvert has difficulty with, it is important that they learn to speak their mind, and discuss things openly with their partner.
6. If You Are Curious, You Might Find You Fight Less With Others
Curiosity can play a positive role in your relationships. "If someone is curious, they are more likely to stay in an interested frame of mind in their relationship instead of a defense frame of mind," says Tolson. "This keeps the lines of communication between partners open."
7. If You Are Empathetic, You Are More Likely To Better Manage Day-To-Day Conflict
Empathy is also a trait that will fare well within your love life. "If someone is empathic, they will be able to understand the feelings of their partner," says Tolson. "This trait is very helpful in relationships day-to-day and when there is conflict. When we are stuck in our own emotions and unable to understand our partner, they don't feel supported or connected to us."
Understanding your personality traits and what your potential strengths and weaknesses might be can help you better understand how to navigate your relationship with others.