Being in love with someone can feel like a drug, and when you break up, you’re cut off from that drug, so to speak, you’re left with a craving and intense feelings of withdrawal — and sometimes inexplicable pain. Studies have shown that heartbreak can be so intense that some scientists suggest that it can feel the same as being in physical pain. According to a study published 2011 that appears in PNAS, when people where shown a photo of a former lover, they showed similar brain activity to when they felt extreme heat on their arm.
After the breakup begins the rationalization of irrational thoughts and longing to figure out where exactly it all went wrong. And while it's important to let yourself reflect, feel all the feelings, and mourn the relationship, there are certain things that may only lead to further pain.
"Every disappointment is a learning moment," Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., aka Dr. Romance, psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences, tells Bustle. "After the initial upset, review the dynamics of the relationship and analyze what went wrong, what you could have done better and what you learned. There's no need to give yourself a hard time about it. Just process the information, so you don't repeat mistakes."
So what should you avoid doing when you're getting over someone? From Here are the things to avoid when you’re going through a breakup.