This week’s Vanderpump Rules had a big party, so you know what’s coming next: a big confession was inappropriately dropped during the festivities, and at least one person left the party in tears. At Guillermo’s birthday party, Tom Schwartz told Katie, his wife, that he had probably made out with someone after he and Katie were already married. (The “probably” comes from the fact that Schwartz doesn’t remember.) The woman in question? Lala’s friend, Allie. Who is Allie from Vanderpump Rules?
Lala was MIA for a while, but now that she’s back, she’s dropping bombs and taking names, the biggest bomb of which is that Katie’s “man [allegedly] made out with [her] friend” when Katie and her friends were on a trip to New York and Schwartzy was left to his own devices. According to Allie, Lala’s pal, “Tom was pretty drunk. Hammered. He was calling me ‘Bubba’ all night. We just started like, talking, and he kissed me.” Tom isn’t denying this, by the way — he’s just claiming that he doesn’t remember but it very well could have happened. “I remember going to Bungalow, but I don’t remember that,” Schwartz told Ariana. He doesn’t remember, but he’s not saying no — and that “Bubba” thing is pretty damning.
As for Allie, we don’t know much about her. She’s friends with Lala, and even after I did a very deep dive through Lala's Instagram to see if Allie had any pics with Lala, I came up with nothing. Not a thing! Bupkis! Just a million photos of Lala on her boyfriend's private plane. If I know Vanderpump Rules, I'm sure more about Allie will turn up as the weeks progress.
The full aftermath of this confession is yet to be seen, but regardless of who Allie, is she shouldn’t have to take the complete fall on this. Yes, she allegedly kissed a guy that she knew was in a relationship, but Schwartz is culpable, too, and he needs to take responsibility. Usually, when two people are in a relationship, it means that, unless you have expressed, validated consent, the only person that either of you are supposed to get naked with or smooch or give tantric massage to is the other person in your relationship. Open relationships are cool, if you’re cool with them. Throuples, asexual companions, whatever! But what sucks is having a partner like Jax or Schwartz that consistently breaks the rules of your relationship.
Ariana did the right thing in saying, “Hey, Schwartz, you need to tell your wife this before someone else does,” and Schwartz is just the moron who told his wife at the wrong time. It’s like he looks at all of this as a big joke and not devastating news to his wife. Schwartz took vows, as Lisa Vanderpump pointed out, but he is clearly not taking them seriously. When you disappoint Lisa, you know you’ve messed up.
In a confessional interview, Schwartz said, “I truly and honestly am baffled. Obviously, I’ve done this before, so I’m capable of this, but I have no recollection of it. I’m like a werewolf.” If I were Katie, I’d be infuriated that he wants to make a joke out of this whole thing. Schwartz doesn’t remember making out with Allie, but he’s also not denying it, as he has a pattern of this behavior. He does something, and then he suddenly doesn’t “remember.” As Katie astutely pointed out while handing Schwartz’s ass to him, she can’t do something wrong and then claim she has no recollection of it — no one would take it if those words came out of Katie’s mouth, so why does everyone let Schwartz off the hook? That’s all about to change, it seems.
This season of Vanderpump Rules can be a microcosm of society of large — men being called out for terrible and unlawful behavior, abusing their privilege or treating their partners and coworkers terribly. Jax admittedly cheated on Brittany, and he’s suffering the consequences. Schwartz has erred yet again, and he’ll have to meet his maker, too. On Vanderpump Rules, the men are reaping what they’ve sown, and Schwartz is clearly the next one to face what he’s done, whether he remembers it or not.