The internet is filled with articles and memes about the horror of turning 30. But take it from Ruby Rose, who's thriving in her 30s: the decade seriously rocks, and it's way better than most people's 20s are. Rose, 31, has had careers in acting, modeling, activism, and now singing in Pitch Perfect 3 (casual), but she didn't always have it all together like it might've seemed back when she was a successful MTV host in her early 20s. Like for many people, Rose's 20s were confusing as hell, but luckily, this new decade have been a time for her to really come into her own.
"I feel like in your 20s, you’re still finding yourself, at least in my experience," the actor admits when we speak over the phone. "I was still trying to work out what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be and who I wanted to impress or what I thought my shortcomings were."
Rose adds that back during that decade, when she was an MTV VJ in Australia, she was "focusing on all the wrong things," seeking approval and doing what she thought she should. "I grew out of my 20s and was learning all these different things along the way, some things you learn easily and other things you learn the hard way."
Thankfully, her 30s are looking way brighter. "One of my favorite things about turning 30 was not being in my 20s anymore," Rose says with a laugh. "Turning 30, I had this epiphany where it was like I could be very clearly who I wanted to be, who I was, and what mark I wanted to leave on this world," Rose says.
In Pitch Perfect 3, out Dec. 22, Beca (Anna Kendrick) and the Bellas find themselves in the trenches of adulting in their 20s. Confused about the paths they're on and with jobs they don't like, the Bellas are forced to explore who they are and what they really want. It's a perfect summary of 20something-life, and Rose says it hit home for her, too.
"The film is relatable to disappointment, like finishing school and thinking you’re gonna do x, y, z and then realizing it doesn’t pan out that way," she says. Beca, for instance gets a music producing gig at a fancy label, but soon realizes she actually hates most aspects of the job and what it stands for.
Perhaps Beca and the others will find their way in a few years' time; for Rose, it seems like turning 30 was a significant factor in feeling comfortable with herself and being vocal about identity. In 2014, at the brink of 30, Rose dominated cultural conversation by explaining she is gender fluid. She produced and starred in the moving short Break Free, an exceptional portrayal of what gender means to her.
As Rose points out, there's something universal about being easier on yourself and giving less f*cks in your 30s. "You stop sweating the small stuff, the little things don't affect you as much anymore," she says. "You realize there’s a much bigger picture out there than what such and such thinks of your outfit or whatever’s going on that week. It’s a great feeling."
Turning 30 shouldn't be dreaded, but seen as a time to really gain confidence and control in life. "You can make your life start over and start fresh whenever you want. It’s all in your mind and willpower," Rose says. And while the actor has faced her share of ups and downs, she's learned to embrace the process and grow from it.
"I think it’s just life. I feel like I’m a student of life and it’s all the different things... that have helped me adapt and change and become fluid and flexible and learn and grow and heal," she says. So if you're a struggling 20-something right now, trust the process, because your 30s are on its way and they likely won't disappoint.