No matter how bad the breakup went or how toxic your dynamic is, rekindling things with an ex always seems way more appealing than getting out there and finding someone new. If you keep getting back together with an ex, there are astrological reasons behind it. Chances are, you're probably all too familiar with one of them.
"There are many reasons why a person would go back to their ex," Elisabeth Grace, astrologer and author, tells Bustle. Astrologically speaking, Mercury going retrograde is one of the biggest ones.
When Mercury is in retrograde, communication is the absolute worst, phones and computers stop working properly, and travel plans go haywire. If that weren't enough, it can add more chaos into your life by bringing exes back out of nowhere.
According to Grace, Mercury refers to how we need to think and communicate. "When that planet appears to move backwards from our perspective on Earth, it suggests an opportunity to review, rethink, and reconnect," she says. "I have many cases in my files of clients who have reunited with someone from their past during a Mercury retrograde."
While Mercury being in retrograde is one of the most well known astrological reasons behind why people go back to exes, it isn't the only one.
1. Venus Is In Retrograde
Venus is the planet that's associated with love, beauty, and money. In astrology, Venus refers to what and who we love. "When Venus appears to move backwards in the sky (from our perspective on Earth), it suggests an opportunity to review and reconsider our values and aesthetics," Grace says. Similar to Mercury going retrograde, reconnecting with a past love is not uncommon during this time.
2. The Time To Make A Big Break Hasn't Arrived Yet
If you've been stuck in a neverending on-again, off-again cycle with someone, it might not have been the right time to cut it off for good. But according to Grace, it will get there. "People make changes and take action when their unique birth charts are activated by planetary cycles," she says. "Classic opportunities for a permanent break in a relationship include Pluto, Neptune, Uranus or Saturn making a challenging connection to the Sun, Moon, or Ascendant." Pluto can bring potential breakdowns and transformations, Neptune can bring out betrayals or abandonments, Uranus can bring the need for freedom and sudden change, and Saturn can bring separation.
Grace gives the example of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. When Jolie filed for divorce in 2016, Neptune and Saturn were making challenging contacts with Pitt's Ascendant. Since she was leaving him, he was experiencing the potential for abandonment and separation. At the same time, Uranus was making a challenging contact to Jolie's horoscope, suggesting potential liberation. "This was the time for a big break," Grace says. "No going back and forth."
3. The Astrological Connections Between You And Your Ex's Charts Are Strong
An on and off-again dynamic between you and another person will show up in an astrology reading using both of your natal charts. According to Grace, the astrological connections might show a magnetic but unstable attraction. For instance, if you find someone exciting, your Moon will be in a dynamic contact with that person's Uranus. But excitement will only get you so far. "We'd want to see stabilizing connections, too, like an easy connection involving Saturn," Grace says. "An easy connection facilitates the upside potential of Saturn, which is structure, endurance, and responsibility. Without those stabilizing connections, we can see how two people connect intensely, burn themselves out, and then keep repeating the pattern."
4. You Have Patterns In Your Natal Chart That Suggest You Might Be Too Optimistic About Love
If your natal chart shows patterns that suggest "strong idealism," you're much more likely to stay hung up on an ex. According to Grace, a person with strong idealism will have a hard time seeing that a relationship dynamic is toxic. "They fiercely believe that their partner is going to change 'this time,' so they go back to their ex again and again," she says. Specific patterns that suggest potential idealism include a strong Neptune pattern in your horoscope.
5. Your Sun Sign Is Known For Holding On To Exes
After a breakup, some people can cut their ex off for good and never look back. But as Sara Whitmer, astrologer and tarot reader, tells Bustle, there are four zodiac signs that struggle the most with letting people go.
Taurus values comfort and stability above all else, and they're also really stubborn. "Taurus will keep going back to an ex just because it's comfortable and familiar, even if it isn’t ideal," Whitmer says. Emotional and sensitive Cancer struggles the most with letting relationships go. Virgo are the "fixers" of the zodiac, so naturally, they'd keep hanging on in an effort to help make the other person better. Sagittarius will likely go back to the same person over and over again. While Whitmer says they won't stay in a bad relationship, they would go back for casual flings and hookups, especially if the sex is good.
The most important thing to keep in mind is you have the power to choose who you end up with. Astrology can reveal incompatibilities and retrogrades can keep bringing people back into your life. But it can't really tell you if you're meant to be with someone. That's for you to ultimately decide. Astrology is meant to give you deeper insight into who you are. If you're someone who keeps going back to your exes, these are the astrological reasons why.