When you match with someone on a dating app, you might feel like everyone else in the world fades away. In an instant, they become your top priority. You text them 24/7, plan dates, and daydream about your future together. It all feels like a fairytale in the making — until you get ghosted and have to start over from scratch.
This is why many people recommend having a dating roster. On TikTok, creator @pinchofcoco shared her advice for dating in 2026, and said one of the best things you can do is talk to multiple people at a time. “I know, I know, it’s hard enough getting one on the go,” she said in the clip. “But trust me, you don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket.”
To approach dating this way, try looking at all your matches and dates as players on a team — a lot like a roster. “You’re just judging who is best for you, the coach,” Coco said. “It helps you determine what you’re really into and what you’re really looking for.” It’s not a new concept, but it’s one that could help you refresh your outlook on dating this year.
Consider keeping a roster as a way to widen your view, versus laser-focusing on one person at a time. Not only does it help you get better at dating — practice really does make perfect — but it also increases your chances of finding The One. Here’s what a dating expert has to say.
Why You Need To Date More People
If you find the dating process stressful, fruitless, or way too slow, then it might help to date more than one person at a time. By creating a roster, you increase your odds of finding someone, and also get to enjoy some additional perks.
Creator @kamrinwhite said having a roster might help you cope with an anxious attachment style that has you latching onto matches too soon. “I call anxious attachment style people ‘fairytale lovers’ because we will find a way to romanticize and glamorize literally anybody” she said. “The whole purpose of dating multiple people at once is to teach you that you don’t need to get so deep.”
It also means getting to know everyone on an individual level, instead of hoping and daydreaming about one person’s potential. If you go on a date with someone who can’t hold a conversation, then the next night meet up with someone who can, the deficiency becomes all the more clear. Suddenly, the bare minimum isn’t enough anymore and it’s easier to spot red flags.
This tactic is a major confidence booster, too. If you’re talking to one person and they ghost you, it can feel like a major letdown. But if you’re talking to multiple people, it feels less dramatic when their texts start to fizzle. “You’re confidence isn’t wavered because one person doesn’t like you,” said creator and dating coach @sabrina.zohar. Just talk to someone else.
According to licensed psychotherapist Lisa Chen, LMFT, following a linear dating path also creates a lot more anxiety than you might realize. When you meet someone, talk to only them, and then desperately hope it works out, it puts you in a precarious place. “People start to assess the relationship like a high-stakes audition instead of seeing if there's a connection,” she tells Bustle. “It distorts their judgment and creates a sense of false urgency.”
By dating two or three people, it reduces your stress and helps you make clearer decisions. “When a person has options, they make choices rationally and intuitively, not out of fear or desperation,” Chen says. “They tend to notice how they genuinely feel around each person, rather than forcing a long-term fit too quickly.”
How To Create A Roster
If you’re used to dating one person at a time, the thought of entertaining multiple people might sound exhausting — but it could be easier than you assume. Creating a roster is about dating with intention, says Chen. It’s a way to to subtly shift your usual approach at finding love.
This also isn’t about leading people on, hoarding options, or sneaking around. “A roster should be a list of those you’re curious about and potentially compatible with, not collecting attention or checking off boxes,” she says. “The goal is to gather enough real-world data with different experience to recognize the connection that feels right.”
It also doesn’t mean you have to talk to 10 people. Try dating two or three. That might look like scheduling a few dates for the week instead of one, or keeping multiple convos going on the apps while going on dates with others.
“You can see as many or as few people as your heart desires.”
To make your roster even more manageable, Chen recommends keeping your texts to a minimum once you do schedule your dates. That way your phone isn’t blowing up all day long. Too much texting also creates a sense of false intimacy, she says, which is what you’re trying to avoid. Save the convos for when you meet IRL.
As long as you haven’t agreed to be exclusive, it’s more than OK to talk to other people — something creator @wild_milk discovered in a recent TikTok. When she asked if that was weird to date different people in a week, multiple commenters said no. One person said, “Dude, my grandma had like 12 boyfriends in 1949. We are getting way too conservative.” Another wrote, “If you aren’t exclusive, you can see as many or as few people as your heart desires.”
Source:
Lisa Chen, LMFT, licensed psychotherapist, founder of Lisa Chen & Associates Therapy
