If you're heading into day five of talking to someone on a dating app to no avail, I feel for you. There's only so much you can chat about with a person you've never met in real life before things start to fizzle. But the good news is you can totally keep it going strong, if you know what to
say on a dating app to move the conversation offline.
There's always, "Would you like to grab a drink?" — a classic opener that'll never go out of style, even in a time when outdoor seating at restaurants is a little hard to come by. But there are plenty of other ways to plan a meetup, or otherwise steer a fun back-and-forth into a real-life date. And the sooner you can do it, the better.
You don't, after all, "want to end up in a textationship,"
Canwen Xu, a content strategist and blogger at the dating app iris, tells Bustle. "Having extensive conversations over text can make it awkward when you meet up in person for the first time because you two technically know so much about each other already, but at the same time are not yet familiar with each other's vibe and charisma in-person."
Instead, establish the basics — where they're from, what they do for a living, how they spend their weekends, etc. — then make plans to meet up and see if you have actual chemistry. Here are 11
lines to use on dating apps to move the conversation offline.
1. "We have the same favorite food! Want to meet up for a take-out picnic?"
If you're a dating app aficionado, then you know one of the many (many) questions you have to answer in order to gain entry is, "what's the one food you couldn't live without?" Chances are, your date has answered the same Q on their profile — and you can use that info to your advantage.
See if you have any favorite foods or restaurants in common, then suggest meeting up for a bite. As
Elisa Robyn, PhD, an educational psychologist, tells Bustle, food is a surefire conversation starter; it's the perfect way to talk about travel, family, and other important getting-to-know-you topics.
Hey, it could even lead to a second and third date, where you meet up to cook together.
2. "I'm tired of sitting inside. Want to go for a walk?"
The key to asking someone on a date is a) noticing what you have in common, and b) seeing if they'd like to go do it together. Simple as that. So if you notice that they're big fans of biking, hiking, or kayaking, ask if they'd be down to do those very things this weekend.
But even if they aren't big into exercise, they'll still probably be into casually walking around town. Meet up, go for a stroll, and just like that you'll be off the internet.
3. "I think our dogs would like each other. Want to take them to the park?"
Spotted a pic of their dog? Had five convos already about their adopted puppy? Go ahead and use that as your in, Robyn says, by suggesting you get together so your dogs can meet.
It's a cute excuse to go on a date. And with all the barking and hilarious chaos that goes down at dog parks, you definitely won't run out of things to talk about.
4. "I saw my favorite bar has outdoor seating. We should get a drink!"
Again, it can be tough to find things to do right now, but if you know of a bar, coffee shop, or restaurant with outdoor seating, have at it.
The moment you know you're able to hold a conversation for more than two minutes via text, that's your cue to see if they'd like to grab a bite or a drink. Once at the cafe, continue the convo you were having about [insert niche hobby here] and let the bonding commence.
5. "The weather looks nice this weekend. Want to do something outside?"
I know, I know... talking about the weather is a bad idea, as it's typically a sign the conversation is rapidly going downhill. But in a time when there's literally no other reason to go outside, let a breezy, 75 degree day draw you out of your apartments and into the light.
They'll likely be happy you made the suggestion. And before you know it, you'll both be tossing your phones over shoulders, and meeting up for some fresh air.
6. "If you could visit anywhere in this city, where would you go?”
Ask where they typically like to hang out, or where they've been desperately wanting to go since quarantine began.
"This is not only a way to generate conversation, but, if you share the same interest, you can use that to then suggest you go on a date there,"
Jonathan Bennett, a relationship and dating expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle.
Have they been eye-balling the museum? Or a beautiful trail? Then make plans to stop by.
7. "I see you're really into XYZ. Would you mind showing me how to do that sometime?"
Tap into what you've chatted about thus far, as well as what they've shared on their profile, for inspiration here. Are they a big fan of rollerskating? Painting? Learning all the latest TikTok dances? Spin it into a reason to see each other in person.
8. "Want to get out of here?"
Remember when people used to say this in bars? Try it on a dating app as a funny way to suggest moving to a better location; somewhere quiet where you can have a chat.
Give them your number or ask if they'd like to share theirs, then swap ideas for places to meet up. Suggest places you might run off to after meeting in a crowded bar, like a park bench, or ice cream place, so you can carry on getting to know each other.
9. "Are you ready to see my living room?"
If you aren't quite ready to venture out into the world, suggest
a virtual date as a way of getting off the app, and into the next stage of your relationship.
"Virtual dates are here to stay and you have nothing to lose and everything to gain,"
Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Bustle. So don't let awkwardness hold you back.
You don't want to waste your time texting back and forth with someone who isn't a good fit for you, she says, which is why seeing them — even via video — is so important.
10. "If you think I'm funny via text, you should see me in person!"
As Bennett says, you'll want to be clear you're joking, so you don't seem arrogant. But this one liner might be just the right amount of cheesy to inspire someone to move things offline.
If you really are clicking due to your shared sense of humor, they'll appreciate the levity.
11. “Will you join me getting off this app?"
When in doubt, be straightforward about how you much prefer talking IRL than on dating apps. As they say, honesty is the best policy, and never is that more true than when getting to know someone new.
They'll likely be just as jazzed to put the app down and talk on the phone, then move to hanging out IRL. Be the person who sparks that opportunity by using one of these lines, and see where it goes.
Experts: Canwen Xu , blogger and dating app expert Elisa Robyn, PhD , psychologist and relationship expert Jonathan Bennett, relationship and dating expert Susan Trombetti, matchmaker