Sex & Relationships
Keep the spark alive with these sweet gestures.
Whether you’ve known your partner for a while or just a few months, finding ways to be romantic — like going on regular date nights or taking a spontaneous day trip — is the key to keeping the spark in your relationship alive. The options are endless, but one simple gesture you can try is to wake your partner up in a sweet way.
“When the timing is right, a sweet, special wakeup will set your partner’s day in a loving way,” Laurel House, dating coach and eharmony's relationship expert, tells Bustle. “When you put a little extra time and effort into your partner, it shows that you care in an even deeper way. Plus, you’ll be in their thoughts for the rest of their day, continuously putting a smile on their face.”
Of course not everyone is a morning person. According to House, it’s important to know your partner’s preferences, schedule, and personality before planning a grand romantic gesture for the early AM hours. For instance, some people always wake up in the mood no matter the day, some people prefer to sleep late on weekends, and others get up already thinking about their never-ending to-do list. No matter how sweet you intend to be, your thoughtful plan may put your partner off instead, House says. You don’t want to wind up starting a fight — especially before anyone’s had their coffee — so be observant and choose your moments wisely.
If you’ve just started dating and you’re unsure about what your partner would like, talk about it. “It may not sound romantic to have a preemptive conversation about how they would like to be woken up, but it’s best to prepare by communicating,” House says. “If you have clarity, you’ll be more confident about how and when to wake up your sweetie.”
If you want to help your partner wake up the right way, try doing any of these sweet romantic gestures.
Give Them A Foot Massage
Sure, initiating morning sex right off the bat can be a lot of fun. But if you want to wake your partner up in a sweet or thoughtful way, get a little creative. House suggests starting with a foot massage and then slowly working your way up. “Make it a real spa-quality massage,” she says. “Take your time, use lavender oils, and don’t have a plan to turn it into a sexy massage — unless they show that sex is where they want it to go.”
Play Some Music And Prepare A Bath For Them
If your partner has had a stressful work week, wake them up to the sounds of their favorite feel-good song and running bathwater. Place a note next to the bed instructing them to get in the bath, and also include a list of drink options (coffee, tea, orange juice, mimosa, etc.) with boxes next to each item for your partner to check off. After you bring your partner their drink of choice, let them know that this morning you’re here to serve them.
Leave A Note For Them On Their Pillow
If you usually leave early in the morning for work, you can do something simple like leaving your partner a note. Let them know how much you love them, that you’ll be thinking of them, or give them some words of encouragement for the day ahead. If it’s a weekend, House suggests leaving a brightly colored card on the bedside table with an itinerary for the day. “Plan an adventure and up the ante by having a small picnic basket to rest the card on,” she says. “Show them that they’re in for some fun.”
Bring Them Breakfast In Bed
Spicing up your relationship with sweet surprises here and there can benefit your relationship tremendously. “A little thought and sincerity will show your partner how much you care, while keeping them on their toes,” Rori Sassoon, professional dating and relationship coach, tells Bustle. If you want to make their morning extra sweet, treat them to breakfast in bed and go all out. Pancakes, waffles, bacon, scrambled eggs — whatever they want. If you’re the type of person who tends to burn toast, you can always get Postmates delivered from their favorite breakfast spot.
Initiate A Cuddle Sesh
Wrapping your arms around your partner and placing a light kiss on the back of their neck or cheek is simple, sweet, and effective. If it’s the weekend, it could lead to another hour or two laying in bed, talking, kissing, or touching — it may or may not even lead to something more. According to Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist who specializes in marriage counseling, tells Bustle, “Doing this occasionally communicates how much you love and cherish your partner, which will have a positive impact on your relationship overall.”
Have An Outfit Picked Out For Them With A Note And A To-Go Coffee
Romantic wake-ups tend to be effective at keeping the fire alive because many of them play off the five love languages, like physical touch or words of affirmation. According to relationship coach Dr. John De Oca, a good example of an act of service is having an outfit already picked out for your partner to wear. Leave them a note with something sweet like, “Just wanted to give you one less thing to worry about today,” or something more flirtatious like, “I’ll be thinking of you in this outfit all day.” You can even have a small breakfast or a to-go coffee prepared for them so they don’t have to worry about making something for themselves. It’s all about doing something thoughtful to make their day a little easier.
Sources
Laurel House, dating coach and eharmony's relationship expert
Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist who specializes in marriage counseling
Rori Sassoon, professional dating and relationship coach
Dr. John De Oca, relationship coach
