The 14 Douchiest 'Bachelor'/'Bachelorette' Quotes

by Chelsea Mize

I am as much of a fun as The Bachelor and The Bachelorette as your next girl. However, that doesn't mean that I am not aware of the overwhelming cringe factor of the show. Let's be real, we're talking about a televised dating show where the contestants who do well are kinda famous once the show airs. It's bound to attract some arrogant, attention-seeking douchebags (and this includes the ladies). There have been some seriously douchey quotes on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette over the many years it has been on the air.

Kaitlyn Bristowe's season of The Bachelorette had enough douchebags to provide a whole article full of quotes (looking at you, Clint/JJ/Kupah/Ian). Likewise, you could write a multi-volume book filled with all of Juan Pablo's cringe-inducing quotes. There certainly has been no shortage of characters on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette in the past, characters that have left our sides aching with laughter at their sheer stupidity and jerk-like behavior.

However, there are just so many seasons and so many self-absorbed jerks to choose from that I'm afraid I cannot include them all. This list is merely the tip of the iceberg of hilariously douchey Bachelor/Bachelorette quotes and I offer you my sincerest apologies if I left out your favorite Bachelor Nation d-bags.

"I get it. I am blessed with eloquence and I'm articulate and I use a lot of big words because I'm smart." — Kelsey, Chris Soules' Season of The Bachelor

Yep, Kels, that's why no one likes you...

“Maybe we’ll like both [women] and we have to move to Utah or something.” — Ian, Kaitlyn Bristowe's Season of The Bachelorette

Ian was off to a douchey start right from the get-go.

“I wouldn’t like me either if I were you, bro. But fortunately, I’m me.” — Kalon, Emily Maynard's Season of The Bachelorette

The ever-pompous Kalon McMahon (yes, the one who called Emily's daughter 'baggage') retorted this to a fellow contestant saying he didn't like Kalon.

This Collage of Courtney Robertson Gems, Ben Flajnik's Season of The Bachelor

That whole relationship was just a train wreck from start to finish.

"I apologize for nothing. I'm sorry for being awesome." — Ryan M., Kaitlyn Bristowe's Season of The Bachelorette

So awesome you got sent home on night one.

“Loveman is here to rescue the Bachelorette from evil men in the world.” — Jared, Kaitlyn Bristowe's Season of The Bachelorette

[cringing intensifies]

"Nice to meet you. Wanna hug? Wanna make out?" — Charlie, His Own Season of The Bachelor

Eek. Creep factor is through the roof.

"On a scale of one to 10, I'm a level 15." — Nikki, Juan Pablo's Season of The Bachelor

You might be a 15, Nikki, but Juan Pablo is like a 2. Aim higher.

“I feel like the energy from Britt’s [voting] box was pulsating.” — Tony the Healer, Kaitlyn Bristowe's Season of The Bachelorette

The best bracketed insertion ever.

"I would literally rather be like, swimming in pee than trying to plan a wedding with her... I'm not thinking like, 'Oh my gosh, this is the girl of my dreams.'" — Bentley, Ashley Hebert's Season of The Bachelorette

Ouch. He could have gone with a slightly less aggressive metaphor...

"... who I am is a gift you unwrap for life." — Ian, Kaitlyn Bristowe's Season of The Bachelorette

You betcha Ian's on this list twice.

"I know this is a show about Chris... But this is my love story, too. This is the unfolding of somebody who's been through something so tragic and you get to watch her pick up the pieces and grow into another person and into another relationship." — Kelsey, Chris Soules' Season of The Bachelor

And so is Kelsey Poe.

"It's just my heart. Jump in, stay a while." — Kasey, Ali Fedotowsky's Season of The Bachelorette

Kasey was always off-the-charts creepy. This took him to new heights.

“I have a ring here in my pocket and I’m not going to use it. I’m not 100 percent sure that I want to propose to you, but at the same time, I’m 100 percent sure that I don’t want to let you go. I like you a lot.” — Juan Pablo, His Own Season of The Bachelor

Oh, J.P. What a royal douche.

Images: Screengrab/ABC; Giphy (4); quotethatshow, carloshombresfamosos/Tumblr