Mahoneday, er, Monday morning, the music video for Austin Mahone's "Dirty Work" dropped, and I've been craving a frozen sugary beverage from 7-Eleven ever since. In the vid for the first single off of his to-be-released debut album, the 19-year-old pop star plays a Slurpee-loving guy who works in an office and has to pull an all-nighter with his coworkers. The boss doesn't want to stick around, so he leaves Mahone in charge. The reason for the all-nighter: A report called the Dirty Work report must be finished by 6 a.m. Oh, and! There's a new, very pretty employee joining the team. (Yes, her first day on the job begins at 7:30 p.m. Why? I don't know. Just roll with it.) "Wow, this sounds like a recipe for an uneventful evening," said no one.
The all-nighter quickly devolves into a one big HR nightmare: not two minutes after they meet, Mahone and a new hire wind up canoodling in the boss's office; when the other male employees see the new hire, they turn into a giggity giggitying pack of Quagmires; in the middle of an impromptu dance party (thank goodness the office keeps confetti, balloons, and a helium tank on hand for such occasions!), Mahone and a coworker wave scissors around willy-nilly. "I bet no one will get in trouble for this," said no one.
But this music video isn't just "Oh boy, I wonder if anyone will get fired for this" moments. There are also a bunch of "Oh boy, that's totally me panicking at the office" moments. Here are the moments that anyone who works in an office can relate to on a very deep level:
When you can't focus on the spreadsheet you're updating because your coffee refuses to kick in.
Is it too late to call in sick?
When your boss gives you a major assignment and tells you it's a make-or-break opportunity.
Gotta play it cool. Gotta stay stonefaced. Don't let your boss see the fear in your eyes.
When a client is unnecessarily rude to you over the phone but you have to bite your tongue.
"THANK YOU FOR CALLING PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE AND TAKE A QUICK SURVEY HAVE A GOOD DAY," you yell as you slam down the receiver.
When you hit 3 p.m. and your energy clocks out for the day.
Must... chug... every... sugary... beverage.
When you realize everyone in the office heard the gossip you just shared with your work bestie.
"So the conference room walls aren't soundproof after all? Everybody now knows I ate the slice of cake Patricia left in the break room refrigerator to get back at Patricia for taking my go-to parking space this morning? Ah. OK. Noted."
When your computer crashes and you lose the day's work.
Who remembers to save documents as you go along, am I right?
When you realize all 25 pages of the report you just printed off are formatted incorrectly.
Anyone need to line a bird cage?
When you convince yourself your back will collapse in on itself if you spend one more second sitting in your desk chair.
Even the most ergonomic chairs start to feel like marble-covered cement blocks after a while.
When the air conditioner breaks in the dead of summer.
Smell you later, suit jacket.
Images: AustinMVEVO/YouTube (10); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (9)