Last week, Rachel Maddow visited Late Night With Seth Meyers, and while I cried at the notion that two attendees of my imaginary Thanksgiving dinner were in the same room, they, of course, said some brilliantly hilarious things. Meyers asked Maddow how she felt about the Aug. 6 GOP primary debate in Cleveland, Ohio, which is slated to air on Fox News. And because no one can seem to resist, Meyers pulled the (Donald) Trump card and made some predictions for how the Republican primary leader would perform during the debates. And Meyers pretty much nailed it when he said that Trump would keep talking until someone "kill[s] his mic." From what America knows of the Donald, the man doesn't have any problems finding things to say. But Meyer's predictions opened up another idea: How will the GOP candidates behave at the debates?
Although Trump appears for some unknown reason to be seen as more than just a clown by the Republican party (Fox News reported he has a seven-point lead on the pack), he isn't the only sure-fire goofball in the bunch. There are 10 slots open for Thursday's debates, and candidates are still vying for who gets to run his or her mouth come Thursday. But, as Hillary Clinton says, there are some "new voices in the Republican choir," and it will be interesting to hear the tunes they project come Thursday. Here are a few predictions from what will surely be a wild volley of Republican opinions — the players, are, of course, subject to change:
Ted Cruz Is Going To Say Something Awful About Abortion
Let's just start with our good old friend Ted Cruz and his nuts-o opinions on women's rights. After the faux abortion videos were released a few weeks ago, Cruz has been all over a plan to defund Planned Parenthood. Although Cruz has also had some choice words about global warming and federal spending, he's pretty hellbent against reproductive freedom and is on the record calling the pro-choice movement the "real war on women." With language like that in his past, it's hard not to expect anything else of this anti-choice warrior during the primary.
Jeb Bush Will Talk About Why Global Warming Is Not A Thing
The Bush dynasty is attempting to live on with Jeb Bush in the race, and the GOP contender has been vocal about his views on climate change. This Bush brother thinks that global warming is pretty much a phantom, calling it "man-made." Convinced that Democrats are using the basis of science to further their platform, Bush will likely want to bring up the topic again when he's got all of Fox News' target audience locked in on his every word.
Donald Trump Will Interrupt Everyone
Meyers wasn't far off when he said that Trump could keep talking forever, but he might have some fellow GOP mudslingers talking right back. Trump's given those in the conservative political arena some material for heated discussion after he denied John McCain's status as a war hero and called our country a "dumping ground" for everyone else's problems. My prediction: Everyone will challenge Trump on some of these claims, which will end up sounding like a one-sided phone call with your mom, complete with stunted half-sentences like, "um," "but wait," "OK, but that's not what I..." So, to everyone who's not Donald Trump: have fun with that convo.
Chris Christie Will Talk About Why He Hates Pot
Chris Christie has said if he makes it to the White House, he'll do whatever it takes to keep the green stuff from circulating this country. And no, he isn't referring to dollar bills, though a ban on any kind of government funding isn't far from the official Republican platform. Christie is all about defending this country from evil marijuana (yes, including the stuff your doctor prescribes), according to Politico. And after making this claim, he's sure to be challenged on the debate floor.
Scott Walker Will Play It Up Like He's The Most Republican
The Wisconsin governor has been accused of "flip-flopping" from liberal to conservative views, and he's been trying his darnedest to convince the country that he's a straight-shooting Republican. Two years ago, Walker said it "makes sense" to grant an undocumented worker legal citizenship, reported The Washington Post. But now, in true Republican style, Walker is doubling down on immigration reform. It seems that this flip-flop is representative of Walker's dream to be included in the good ol' boys Republican club. Keep making right-aligned comments about immigration, dude, and you're well on your way.
Well, kids, it's going to be a toss-up as to who America hears from at the Republican debates on Thursday. Other candidates, including ex-Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, former Texas Gov. Rick Perry, and former Pennsylvania Gov. Rick Santorum, are all still fighting to get in the lineup. Regardless of your political stance, tune in on Thursday; it's sure to be a showstopper.
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