The Pressure To Have Perfect Sex Is Dampening Our Love Lives, Says Survey, So Here's How To Bring The Spark Back
Things are simmering down in London-Town, as well as the rest of the United Kingdom. A new YouGov poll conducted by the relationship charity Relate shows that only 45 percent of adults surveyed in Britain are "fairly satisfied" or "very satisfied" with their sex lives, while 51 percent haven't had sex at all in the past month. The reason for these dry spells in the relationship? The Daily Mail speculates that it boils down to erotic literature, such as Fifty Shades of Grey, as well as totally steamy movies and our increasingly sexy TV shows. Either way, though, couples, are feeling the pressure now more than ever to have wildly mind-blowing sex while also working and/or raising families.
The survey serves an important reminder: It's not abnormal for things to sort of fizzle the longer you're in a relationship with someone. More often than not, you begin a routine with your significant other, and sex can feel... well, not as exciting, frankly. This undoubtedly can lead to some insecurities in the relationship, causing our goodies and bits to clam up, so to speak, under the pressure. We've got to relax.
But hey, bringing the sexy back doesn't have to be a difficult thing. Here are five tips to help you get rid of those pre-sex jitters:
1. Remember Who You're With
Hey, you see that person in bed next to you? Yeah? Well, you chose them for a reason, and part of that reason was a physical attraction. Take some time and remember all of the qualities that got you hot and bothered about him or her in the first place!
I'm not talking about whining about how you never have sex anymore, or pointing blame, or even playing the pity game. Talk it out! Open the lines of sexual communication between yourself and your partner. Sometimes appetites change, so explore what you're both into at this point in the relationship, always keeping in mind that you need to be respectful.
3. Plan to Be Spontaneous
If part of the issue is that you are missing the spontaneity of it all, than plan to jump your SO's bones when he/she is least expecting it. Grab them in the kitchen, wake them up in the morning, slip into the shower... You'll not only surprise them, but you'll surprise yourself as well. (Just, y'know, make sure they're down with whatever you have in mind before you go any further.)
4. Walk Down Memory Lane
Though it might seem like tip number one, taking a stroll down memory lane together could be extremely exciting, and definitely start to heat things up. Start talking about when you first met, your first date, your first kiss, and round it off with your very first sexual encounter. Although the time could've been awkward, or funny, reminiscing like that can bring back those little butterflies in your stomach you used to get.
You know those erotic books and steamy movies you're blaming for heightening your expectations during sex? Well maybe it's time to use them for what they're good for, which is setting the mood! Read a passage to your SO — if you're shy, make it a joke, but either way, it'll start to put sex in the forefronts of both of your minds. Cuddle up on the couch and watch those sexy scenes together. Get close!
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