Alongside cats, wine, and not knowing how to Adult, the Internet is obsessed with few things as it is obsessed with personality types, traits, zodiacs, Myers Briggs and "the things that [Only This One Type Of Person] will understand". Taking the cake among this may be the extro/introvert dichotomy. People have a lot to say about introverts (and extroverts too, to be fair). But introverts seem to be more misunderstood, maybe because they feel more judged than they do accepted, and for no other reason other than just a lack of awareness people seem to be experiencing. This is to say: the internet has been waiving the pro-introvert flag for a while now, and with good reason. Because the only thing harder than being an introvert, is having to try to figure them out.
Well, I'm here to help you with that. Introverts, despite the stereotype of being self-interested if not absorbed, are actually extremely intimate and romantic, maybe even more so than extroverts (gasp). And because they probably won't show you that they love you in a more understandable way (they're not huge on dramatically public displays and declarations of affection), you may be left a little in the dark regarding where you stand in their hearts. Fear not, for this will shed a stream of light. Here, the ways introverts show you that they love you (especially when they won't say it at all):
They Tell You What Inspires Them
They're sharing with you all the little bits of their innermost experience, and that, to an introvert, is the ultimate expression of love: letting you into the place where they thrive.
They Want You To Be A Bigger Part Of Their Everyday Life
An introvert loves you when they want you to be at their house hanging out, doing nothing but talking and ordering dinner on a Friday night, not when they want to take you out to parties and on fancy dates and change their online relationship status. Introverts live within the little moments, and to let you into them is to show you that they think of you as a part of themselves (which is the greatest expression of love for anyone, really).
You Start To Become Their "Person," In That You're The First To Know Whenever Anything Happens
You know about their mood and what the doctor said and about the things they're up to each day. You're the first person to get a text when there's news about work, the first person to know all the details about the friend that drives them crazy, and so on. There's nothing about their life that comes as a total surprise to you, because you've just integrated yourself as their go-to-human.
They'll Do Decidedly "Extroverted" Things With You
Despite wanting you to be around for lazy Sundays in bed, they also want to take you to the movies and out to dinner and to their parents' for Thanksgiving. All the little milestones that never mattered before all of a sudden seem not only seem important, but desirable.
They Show You The Vulnerable Parts Of Themselves
Introverts are sensitive people. Their inner lives and minds are always bustling, so they don't need that much external stimulation to keep them satisfied. They naturally feel more vulnerable (even if that's just a product of being more self-aware than others), and so to share with you the parts of them that are the most sensitive and sacred is to honestly let go and let you truly love them.
They Process Their Thoughts And Feelings With You, And They Use You As A Sounding Board
Introverts get their energy and sense of meaning from conclusions they arrive at and thoughts they create and ideas they come up with; many feel a desire for seclusion simply to be able to process their never-ending stream of thought with a little more clarity. To let you into that process is incredibly special, and lets you see who they truly are (which is the equivalent of love to them, but more on that later).
They're Intimate With You In Non-Sexual Ways
They share with you their favorite books, their art, the project they have in mind, a story about the time they did the thing they're proudest of. They teach you that intimacy is so much more than sexual, and prove that they have that Inner Self game at the next damn level.
They Give You Feedback
Honest feedback. Genuine feedback. The kind of blunt feedback that only comes from people who genuinely care whether or not your life is together. They tell you how they really feel, and what they really think, and don't really worry about "people pleasing" as much as they do telling you something they think would be honestly valuable for you to know.
They Lose Their Filter
They shed a layer of self-consciousness and let themselves just say and do whatever they genuinely want. It's a sign that they're arriving at a level of comfort with you that they only reserve for the people closest to them.
They Become Increasingly More Romantic As Time Goes On
While for most people the honeymoon phase goes as quickly as it comes, introverts — who generally romanticize their lives — only get more so as time goes on. The ultimate way you'll know that an introvert loves you is that they go out of their way, more and more often, to give you things you'd love and create some beautiful aesthetic as a background for your date-night-in. Introverts are secretly romantics, and they more they let you into that, the more they let you into them.
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